Welcome to Day 2 of my riveting and totally original series, 73 Sports Movies in 73 Days, which is going to have to hold us over until the start of the 2013 NFL season. That is, unless you’re fine with midseason baseball and the WNBA. You fine with that, tough guy? I didn’t think so. Now join me as we discuss the 1991 boobs, booze and buds comedy, Ski School.
As I’ve been preparing for my early screening of White House Down tonight by doing sit-ups and shouting action film clichés at my dog – “Lick this peanut butter if you want to live!” – I found myself thinking about the long history of Hollywood’s lack of originality in releasing two identical films around the same time. White House Down had Olympus Has Fallen, Volcano had Dante’s Peak, Philadelphia had Sleepless in Seattle, and way back in 1991, Ski Patrol had Ski School.
You see, in the early 90s, America was eager to escape the traditional Spring Break films with their bikinis and bouncing, heaving breasts for a new breed of party film. Enter the winter vacation ski destination trope – which had already been done before in 1985’s Better Off Dead and 1984’s Hot Dog (which has not been ruled out of 73 in 73 inclusion, thanks to young Shannon Tweed) – which instead offered snow suits and bouncing, heaving breasts. It was truly an exciting time to be alive.
I picked Ski School over Ski Patrol for this examination, because despite the latter starring Bridesmaids director in one of the most iconic white dance moments in film history, it also had George Lopez, and he accepted a kidney from his wife so he could allegedly keep sleeping with prostitutes and that’s bad. Plus, Ski School marked what should have been the beginnings of huge careers for stars Dean Cameron and Patrick Labyorteaux.
The two actors first worked together on a TV film entitled, Prince of Bel Air, but they most famously joined forces in the 1987 comedy Summer School, which has been called one of the greatest films in history by at least one person named Ashley Burns. Cameron, of course, was snubbed at the Academy Awards that year for his riveting portrayal of Francis “Chainsaw” Gremp, while Labyorteaux played Kevin Winchester, the dumb jock with a heart of gold. But that’s a whole different breakdown for another feature that will most likely be called “Why Courtney Thorne-Smith Should Have Been Preserved In Cryogenics During The 80s”.
As for Ski School, this was a lighthearted tale of two rival factions at a, well, ski school that included the straight-laced preppy instructors – oh how I hated Reid Janssens…
… and the hard-partying, raging animal bros of “Section 8”. Cameron played their leader, Dave Marshak, and he was the most righteous skier to ever step foot on the slope. The ladies loved him…
And he did the Lambada, which was the forbidden dance…
Oh, and he also did the limbo under a ski with his bros just because…
But Section 8 needed to win the big ski competition to stop Reid and his cronies from booting them off the mountain for good and putting an end to the radical parties. Fortunately, Dave was able to charm shy newcomer John Roland into joining the crew, but he needed plenty of work!
Haha, what an awkward-but-handsome young man. Don’t worry, though, because Dave and the gang turned him into the ultimate ladies man, and you could tell because he pulled his shades down to talk to the babe.
Also, this girl was there…
And this girl was there…
At some point, I think they also did some skiing, because that was kind of the point of the film (aside from women randomly showing their breasts for the sake of plot progression)…
John helped defeat Reid and the preppies, so Section 8 won the day and everyone cheered.
Thus ended the greatest winter vacation of their lives, and Dave once again got the girl.
Dean Cameron then went on to star in Rockula. Seriously.
Final Grade: 3/4 Snow Puppies
(Summer School still via)
