Here’s Everything You Need To Know About Adam Dunn’s Pitching Performance Last Night

Adam Dunn has played 1961 games in his career. He has hit 457 home runs, he has amassed 1148 runs. But in his 14 years, he has never, not once, thrown a pitch in a Major League Baseball game…until last night. With the White Sox trailing 15-0, Robin Ventura looked to the 6’6″ 285-lb Big Donkey to close it out.

Here’s just some of the highlights from his “masterful performance.”

He wasn’t afraid to throw inside:

At all:

He put the fear of God into opposing hitters:

His fastball topped out at a respectable 83 mph:

He wasn’t limber enough to field groundballs:

He almost gave up a bomb:

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After two hits, a walk and a run, Dunn walked off the mound with his head held high. Despite the 16-0 loss, he was the real MVP.