Agent: Plaxico Will Play In 2011*

*…presuming that anyone else is.

Former NFL wideout and current guest of the city of New York Plaxico Burress is making plans, yo. Drew Rosenhaus, Plax’s agent, has already declared that Burress will be making plans to return to the NFL upon his release from Rikers Island in June. Burress was sentenced to two years in jail after an accidental discharge in a Manhattan nightclub. Firearm discharge. Pervert.

“I’m not a big advocate of making predictions on teams because so much can change,” Drew Rosenhaus told Josina Anderson on Showtime’s Inside the NFL. “But I am not afraid to make the following prediction: Plaxico Burress will be playing in 2011, and he will play very well. And it will be a very happy ending to a very tough, tough story for him.”


And this is where I would make a Shawshank Redemption reference, but I’ve never seen the movie all the way through. I caught the last 20 minutes or so when Tim Robbins crawled through the poop tube and then wound up on a beach, and Morgan Freeman was nice enough to not mention that he smelled like poop. Robbins must have a thing for feces; how else do you explain Susan Sarandon?