Over the past few months, all of our Anderson Silva updates have been ridiculous — like watching him dress up as Michael Jackson for Rolling Stone Brazil, fight Steven Seagal over terrible beer or judge gigantic South American asses. UFC 148: Silva vs. Sonnen II is coming up on July 7, so the big question has been, “When is Anderson going to flip the switch from Bieber-hugging Burger King spokesperson to monster UFC Middleweight Champion and rage the shit out of this guy who’s been trying to piss him off for two years?”
That question has been answered: the UFC 148 conference call.
“First of all, Chael is a criminal. He’s been convicted of crimes. He doesn’t deserve to be inside the Octagon. And when the time is right, I’m going to break his face and break every one of his teeth in his mouth.”
“The playtime is over. I’m gonna beat Chael like he’s never been beat before. There’s no more talking. I know he’s on the line listening, and the game’s over. I’m going to beat his ass out of the UFC. He’s never gonna want to fight again after I’m done with him.”
If that’s not enough to make you want to cut a piece of posterboard into the shape of a tombstone, write “R.I.P. SONNEN” on it and bring it to UFC 148, may Silva’s extended thoughts will be. In addition to breaking his teeth and beating him so badly he’ll never want to fight again, Silva promises which bones he’llbreak, from what angle he’ll break them and how badly he wants Sonnen to know it. I know these guys are professional fighters and everything, but if Silva ever said this about me I’d just jump off a bridge and be done with it:
“It doesn’t matter if I’m on the bottom, the side, the top, it doesn’t matter. Chael Sonnen’s gonna get his ass kicked like he’s never gotten his ass kicked before. What I’m gonna do inside the Octagon is something that’s gonna change the image of the sport. I’m gonna beat his ass like he’s never been beaten before. I’m gonna make sure that every one of his teeth are broken, his arms are broke, his legs are broke. He’s not going to be able to walk out of the Octagon by himself. I can guarantee that. And I know that he’s listening. The game’s over. No more shit-talking. It’s on now.”