Apolo Ohno Starred In A SyFy Movie Called ‘Tasmanian Devils’ With Winnie Cooper

On Saturday night, as we were doing the live chatty thing for UFC on FX 7, I noticed a few Tweets that SyFy was airing a new original movie, Tasmanian Devils. “Cool,” I thought, as I cooked another lobster for Brittney Palmer. Out of sheer curiosity, I checked out our friend Andrea’s preview of the network’s latest installment of Ridiculous Acting Theater only to learn that Tasmanian Devils is about the titular carnivorous marsupials getting… A TASTE FOR HUMAN BLOOD.

Much more importantly, the movie stars Danica McKellar, who is better known as Winnie Cooper from Wonder Years, or that girl everyone who grew up in the 1980s was in love with. But what really blew my mind is that Tasmanian Devils also stars gold medal speed skater Apolo Ohno, who may or may not be retired now, in case you come here for actual news. That means this movie has to be good.

Of course, this wasn’t Ohno’s first run in front of a camera. As I’m sure we all watched multiple times, Ohno made an Emmy-winning* cameo on the amazing** CBS drama Hawaii Five-0. And how could we ever forget Ohno’s amazing acting skills as he regularly convinces us that he eats at Subway? Alas, I have some rather bad news for Ohno’s fans, and it comes in spoiler form.

I flipped back and forth between Tasmanian Devils and the UFC fights and I never actually saw Ohno in the film. I found this rather confusing, so I did a little Google snoopery, only to discover… Ohno is killed in the opening minutes. :(

Fortunately, you can see his incredibly awesome death in the trailer, and it should be turned into a GIF immediately.

*He didn’t win an Emmy.

** Hawaii Five-0 is not amazing.