ESPN Tabbed The World’s Biggest Bandwagon Jock-Sniffer To Host The ESPYs

The awards show known officially as the ESPYs, and more commonly as that event that is the only thing involving sports that takes place on the otherwise most boring night of the year, is set for July 16 this year, and we now know that ESPN has decided to select the most appropriate host imaginable in rapper Drake. As he reminded us at the 2014 NCAA Men’s Basketball National Championship Game on Monday, Drake is quite possibly the biggest bandwagon celebrity sports fan in the history of modern professional athletics, as he has a hilarious-yet-sickening tendency of latching onto the biggest athletes in American sports and celebrating their wins with them like his season tickets belong with the other WAGs.

The hosting gig could actually blow up in his face, though, should LeBron James and Kobe Bryant go to hug Drake at the same time, only to realize that he’s best friends with both of them. Then Drake would be left to chase after Johnny Manziel to catch a ride to the club with him, only to find out that he’s BFF with Coolio now, because at least with him, he always knows there’s no other athlete to compete with.