As we prep for our week of incredible, unparalleled coverage for Super Bowl 47 (screw you, Roman numerals!) next week, I feel somewhat ashamed for not already pointing out what an outstanding job our friends Danger Guerrero and Dustin Rowles have already done in bringing you important Puppy Bowl news at Warming Glow. In fact, I want the Pulitzer committee to know that those two have my full endorsement for the highest writing awards for their efforts on the Animal Planet locker room live stream and hedgehog cheerleaders, respectively.
Trust me, the Pulitzer committee has With Leather bookmarked.
That said, it’s time to focus on the actual Puppy Bowl itself and the brave four-legged critters who take the field for such intense and dangerous action each year. Animal Planet has finally released the lineup for this year’s Puppy Bowl and I think we’re in for the most exciting game yet. However, I have two quick recommendations that I would like to offer…
1) While I don’t actually care what these dogs’ names are because I spend 99% of my time during each Puppy Bowl blocking Petfinder.com from all of my computers, lest I end up with 600 puppies, it would be more fun if the puppies had NFL-related names. Like, instead of Arlo or Agatha, couldn’t we at least call these furry little boys and girls something more appropriate like Drew Fleas and Spay Lewis? I feel like this should have been addressed on Day One.
2) There should be a Doberman pinscher in the stands with a giant spiked collar. His name will be Pawger Goodell.
With that out of the way, I give you the 2013 Puppy Bowl rosters.
Agatha
Breed(s): Miniature Pinscher
Sex: Female
Age: 9 weeks
Fun Fact: Loves to be the center of attention and get everyone going.
Arlo
Breed(s): Labrador Retriever/Collie mix
Sex: Male
Age: 10 weeks
Fun Fact: A totally amazing pup, originally from South Carolina.
Aurora
Breed(s): Siberian Husky/Retriever mix
Sex: Female
Age: 10 weeks
Fun Fact: Loves to play, play, play and she loves toys.
Biscuit
Breed(s): Puerto Rican Sato
Sex: Female
Age: 12 weeks
Fun Fact: Her mom is Julia Roberts, so she is destined for greatness.
Blitz
Breed(s): Terrier mix
Sex: Female
Age: 11 weeks
Fun Fact: Rode a plane, subway, AND a taxi in 24 hours.
Butterscotch
Breed(s): Puerto Rican Sato
Sex: Female
Age: 12 weeks
Fun Fact: Rescued off of a beach in Puerto Rico called “Dead Dog Beach.”
Chestnut
Breed(s): Labrador Retriever/Australian Shephard mix
Sex: Male
Age: 9 weeks
Fun Fact: Loves to play and snuggle.
Copper
Breed(s): Dachshund/English Pit Bull mix
Sex: Male
Age: 9 weeks
Fun Fact: Loves to shred paper.
Daffodil
Breed(s): Chow Chow/Labrador Retriever mix
Sex: Female
Age: 11 weeks
Fun Fact: Loves to wrestle, but also likes to cuddle on the couch.
Daisy
Breed(s): Yorkshire Terrier
Sex: Female
Age: 12 weeks
Fun Fact: Likes to wrestle with her two brothers.
Eli
Breed(s): German Shepherd/Pit Bull mix
Sex: Male
Age: 10 weeks
Fun Fact: Favorite toy is from Dunkin Donuts.
Fitz
Breed(s): Catahoula mix
Sex: Male
Age: 10 weeks
Fun Fact: Loves to pull his brother’s tail.
Harry
Breed(s): Chocolate Dachshund Smooth
Sex: Male
Age: 12 weeks
Fun Fact: Is a lovable little terror.
Jenny
Breed(s): Pit Bull/Hound mix
Sex: Female
Age: 13 weeks
Fun Fact: A very sweet girl.
Juniper
Breed(s): Great Pyrenees
Sex: Female
Age: 12 weeks
Fun Fact: Is both a lover AND a fighter.
Koda
Breed(s): Catahoula/Boston Terrier mix
Sex: Male
Age: 4 months
Fun Fact: Voted cutest puppy in Howl’s Kitchen Manhattan. He is Expert at riding the subway.
Lenny
Breed(s): Catahoula Leopard Dog mix
Sex: Male
Age: 12 weeks
Fun Fact: He likes to sleep on peoples’ heads. It’s something about the neck area, very warm.
Magnolia
Breed(s): Chow Chow/Labrador Retriever mix
Sex: Female
Age: 11 weeks
Fun Fact: Is very faithful and independent.
Nala
Breed(s): Japanese Chin
Sex: Female
Age: 8 weeks
Fun Fact: Sweet and sassy, but she can also be very fierce with her brother Simba.
Pearl
Name: Pearl
Breed(s): Australian Catahoula/Labrador Retriever mix
Sex: Female
Age: 9 weeks
Sally
Breed(s): Dachshund/Basset Hound mix
Sex: Female
Age: 12 weeks
Fun Fact: Loves to steal slippers.
Shadow
Breed(s): Catahoula/Labrador Retriever mix
Sex: Male
Age: 9 weeks
Fun Fact: He is a really soft super snuggler.
Simba
Breed(s): Japanese Chin
Sex: Male
Age: 8 weeks
Fun Fact: Very playful and confident with other dogs.
Trinka
Breed(s): Schnauzer/Beagle mix
Sex: Female
Age: 10 weeks
Fun Fact: Loves sleeping in hotel room beds.
Tuck
Breed(s): German Shepherd/Pit mix
Sex: Male
Age: 10 weeks
Fun Fact: The only black pup in his litter of six.
Winston
Breed(s): Miniature Pinscher
Sex: Male
Age: 9 weeks
Fun Fact: The cutest of the litter and one of the hungriest.
Willis
Breed(s): Long-haired Chihuahua mix
Sex: Female
Age: 4 months
Fun Fact: A puppy with the funniest ears ever.
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