I’m going to stir some controversy today that doesn’t involve the NFL, because I’m a button-pusher, but I’m honest. What you get from me here is how I am at home, and I won’t ever apologize for calling it like I see it. *closes ‘The Gregg Doyel and Skip Bayless Guide to Making Every Story About You’ coloring book* So what’s my controversial statement? I don’t like wiener dogs.
Ignite your pitchforks and sharpen your torches, because it’s true – I think that dachshunds are the canine equivalent of the Ford Flex. But as always, they’re still better than cats, because at least dogs can race, and as I learned this week, even wiener dogs can be competitive when it matters. So when they kicked off the annual Oktoberfest-Zinzinnati festival (Octoberfest to us Yanks) last week with a race in costumes, this silly little breed took one step in the right direction in winning my heart.
So which of these wieners gave the folks in Cincinnati something to be happy about before Dusty Baker breaks their hearts? The answer may shock you.
Sammy, a two-year old dachshund, beat 100 other dachshunds to be crowned the winning wiener at the sixth-annual John Morrell Running of the Wieners on Friday, September 21, 2012. He ran the 75-foot race in 3.97 seconds.
Congratulations to our 2012 Running of the Wieners Winning Circle:
CHAMPION: Sammy
2ND PLACE: Freddie
3RD PLACE: Buster
How it Works
Each dachshund, outfitted in their provided hot dog bun costume, will run approximately 75 feet in heats of ten to their owners at the opposite end. The winner of each heat will compete in a final race to determine the winning wiener dog! Prizes will be awarded to the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winners!
I know, it didn’t really shock you. I just wanted to make it seem a little more exciting than it actually is. Either way, if you felt like your life was facing a shortage of wiener dogs racing while dressed like hot dogs, then today is your lucky day.
And here’s former Reds pitcher Tom Browning leading the event’s participants in the world’s largest recorded Chicken Dance:
(Banner via)
