Handing Out Superlatives From College Football’s Fantastic Opening Weekend

College football’s offseason is over and the first full weekend of games reminded us that no sport can match the fun and wackiness that this one provides. The extended weekend, with games starting on Thursday and culminating in a double overtime thriller between Tennessee and Georgia Tech on Monday, gave us the opportunity to spread our college football consumption over five days. It was great.

To celebrate, we decided to look back on the weekend that was and highlight some of the moments that stood out. What was the game we’re going to continue talking about for the rest of the year? What was the moment that we’re not going to forget? What team put on the best performance, pleasantly surprised us the most, and was the biggest disappointment? Let’s dive right in with the game of the weekend.

Best Game: UCLA 45, Texas A&M 44

Sometime late in the third quarter, it was obvious that one of two things was going to happen by the time the clock on this game hit 0:00. Either:

1. Jim Mora Jr. was going to be in a whole load of trouble for letting Texas A&M come into the Rose Bowl and boat race UCLA, OR
2. Kevin Sumlin was going to be in a whole load of trouble for letting UCLA storm back from a 34-point deficit and win.

There was, approximately, a 98 percent chance that first thing happened. Instead, that second thing happened, and instead of Mora being on one of the 2-3 hottest seats in the nation, Sumlin now has that honor. (Well, he had that honor regardless, but it got magnified because of this game.)

This was a game that most people turned off because it was such a convincing blowout (and because Virginia Tech-West Virginia was on at the same time and was hot fire). But eventually, Josh Rosen thought it would be fun to chuck the football all over the place, and there was nothing the Aggies could do about it.

Rosen is one of those players whose college career has been weird as hell. He was anointed a future No. 1 overall draft pick after a very solid freshman year. His sophomore year, dude got lit up behind a bad offensive line, missed the second half of the year with a shoulder injury, and the Bruins struggled. Basically, he came into 2017 needing a big year to remind everyone why he was such an eye-popping prospect, and for 2.5 quarters on Sunday, that didn’t happen.

Then, he stopped playing around, threw for four touchdowns and nearly 500 yards, and did this, causing Gus Johnson’s head to come extremely close to exploding:

Josh Rosen rules. Hey, on that note…

Player of the Week: Josh Rosen, QB, UCLA

I have a general rule that if you throw for 491 yards and four touchdowns in a massive comeback win over a solid Power 5 team, you win Player of the Week. Ergo, Rosen gets the nod this week, with special shout outs to guys like Missouri QB Drew Lock (who threw for 521 yards and seven touchdowns against Missouri State) and Penn State running back Saquon Barkley (who touched the football 18 times against Akron and accrued 246 total yards with a pair of touchdowns and also did this, which nearly led to me adding “Saquon Barkley GIF of the Week” as a category).

Biggest Surprise: Purdue

Purdue has been extremely bad for the last four years. Because of this, they have a new head coach in Jeff Brohm, who is delightful and believes in throwing the football all over the place. It worked for him during his three years at Western Kentucky, as the Hilltoppers were among the best passing offenses in the nation en route to a 30-10 record under Brohm.

So while the Boilermakers have a long way to go, Brohm decided to try and install an offense with the hopes of leveling the playing field to some extent. Sure, they lost to Louisville, 35-28, but they went toe-to-toe and punch-for-punch with a much better football team by throwing caution to the wind on offense. Their pass/run ratio was 57/21, it was awesome. Bill Connelly of SB Nation summed the Boilermakers and their devil may care approach to both sides of the football up well.

We’ll talk about the most surprising team that went home with a win in a second — hint: it involves another Big Ten squad — but Purdue is supposed to be one of the 2-3 worst teams in the Big Ten. Instead, they gave a Louisville squad with the defending Heisman Trophy winner and ACC title aspirations everything they could handle for four quarters. It was awesome.

Best Moment: USC’s blind long snapper went in for a PAT

Jake Olson has been a massive USC fan for his entire life. He is also blind, having both of his eyes removed before he turned 12. Despite this, he persevered, earned a spot on the Trojans’ football team as a long snapper in 2015, and has been around ever since. During USC’s win over Western Michigan on Saturday, Olson took the field for a PAT late in the game. Watch his teammates’ reaction after the snap was on target and the kick sailed through the uprights.

And here’s what Olson said about it after the game.

Sports are cool.

Best Play: Jake Bentley finds Deebo Samuel for a one-handed touchdown grab.

Good quarterback play is art. Receivers making incredible catches is also art. Put the two together and you have what Bentley and Samuel did for South Carolina on Saturday against NC State. Bentley faked a handoff, rolled out to his right, and was about to get drilled by an unblocked defender.

Instead, Bentley busted out a stiff arm to evade said defender and kept running to his right. He saw Samuel had a step or two on the Wolfpack’s secondary, and instead of setting his feet, he heaved the ball down the field while on the run. It was a crazy throw, and Samuel made an even crazier play by extending his left hand and bringing the pass in.

I want to also note that a Will Muschamp coached football team producing the best offensive highlight of the weekend might be a bigger upset than Howard over UNLV.

Best Performance: Michigan’s defense

By now, you’ve heard everything about Michigan’s defense, namely the fact that it had to replace a ton of dudes from last year’s unit that was the best in the nation. The good news is that all of those guys were (largely) replaced by four and five-star recruits that are future NFL players themselves, most of whom saw action in the past year or two, so they aren’t totally green. Also, they were going up against a Florida offense that: 1. Suspended a number of players and, 2. Is Florida.

So while Michigan allowed 17 points, it’s important to note that 14 of those came on pick sixes. In short, the Wolverine defense played out of its mind, allowing three points and 192 yards of total offense. Including sacks, the Gators ran the ball 27 times and gained 11 yards. Florida quarterbacks Feleipe Franks and Malik Zaire combined to go 14-for-26 with 181 yards through the air and were constantly running for their lives.

Florida’s offense is not anywhere near as good as Penn State or Ohio State — the two that the Wolverines will need to slow down if they want to win the Big Ten — but you get one chance to make a first impression and Michigan’s defense made a powerful one. Whether this game was more of an indication that Don Brown’s defense rules or Florida’s offense stinks remains to be seen, but if you live in Ann Arbor, you have to be a little excited.

Biggest Disappointment: Texas

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooof.

So here’s the thing with Texas: There was no reason for them to be ranked in the top-25 to start the year. Yes, Tom Herman is a good coach who is known for putting together dynamic offenses. Yes, there is some talent on both sides of the ball. But nothing about this team’s roster or performance screamed top 25 coming into the year.

Voters got caught up with the Herman hype, and on Saturday we remembered where the bar for the ‘Horns really belongs when Maryland marched on into Austin and took it to Texas. The 51-41 scoreline for the Terrapins was shocking when you consider where both teams were to start the year — Maryland as a team that isn’t expected to do much in a loaded Big Ten East, Texas as a team that came into the season with a ton of hype.

Maybe the most concerning part for the Longhorns was that their offense was able to move the ball — they had 473 yards of total offense — but turned the ball over twice and didn’t score until the third quarter. Only 20 points came from Texas’ offense, the rest came on defensive/special teams touchdowns. For a team that is led by a legitimately great offensive coach in Herman, growing pains like this aren’t encouraging.

While the Terrapins deserve a ton of credit for getting this win — they were always going to be a team that showed signs of improvement this year, even if their record didn’t necessarily indicate that — the bigger story in this game is that it showed Texas still has a way to go. For a team that started the year ranked No. 23 and a fan base that is so hungry for success, that’s a disappointment.

Hilarious Box Score of the Week: Army’s rushing attack

Each week, we’re going to end with someone that showed up in a box score that made me laugh. This week, the honor goes to Army football, which is proof that when you live the brand, you have to go all in.

The Black Knights run the football with their lethal triple option. They have done this for approximately forever. Teams that run the triple option rule because it’s an offensive scheme that is tough to plan for even though you know the ball is going to stay on the ground. You can put 10 guys in the box and for some reason teams that run the triple option will still average 6.5 yards per carry. It’s perfect.

On Saturday, Army triple option’d FCS powerhouse Fordham to death en route to a 64-6 win. They ran the ball 47 times for 513 yards and seven touchdowns. Fifteen players registered rushing attempts. They threw two passes and both were incomplete. And for reasons I do not understand but appreciate very much, they had four different players attempt PATs. Army is perfect.