Lacrosse’s “Personality of the Year” and our favorite iconic positive influence, Con Bro Chill, is back just in time for the 4th of July with a brand new American anthem that’s about to punch your mind in the balls. “Born Free America” is a celebration of everything that Mr. Bro Chill and his friends hold dear, as they represent the great liberties and freedoms that this country allows us. And, of course, he has dedicated this incredible music video to the troops.
What you’re about to see features Con Bro Chill and his bros wearing American flag spandex outfits while driving in a Ford Taurus that has received its own American flag makeover, as they chase a man dressed like a bald eagle. If music videos were something that artists and bands still took as seriously as they did in the 1990s, this would be considered one of the greatest ever made.
Hell, I’m just going to go ahead and give it that honor anyway. You know, with all due to respect to the former greatest music video ever made.
I tried as best as I could to decipher these lyrics, and here’s what I came up with:
You guys ready for some America stuff?
Hot dogs, cheese puffs, people with a football
Put your boots on, because cuz Oprah’s watching NASCAR
Chuck Norris! Ford Taurus!
Who doesn’t want to see Aerosmith?
I think we’re all turning red, white and blue
Born free, it’s America
Big stuff, it’s America
High five, it’s America
Watch out, it’s America
I think we’re all turning red, white and blue
I’m not positive about “Big stuff” and the Oprah line, and I’m pretty disappointed that clitoris wasn’t somehow rhymed with Chuck Norris and Ford Taurus. Also, where are all the babes, Con Bro Chill? Whatever, this video rules.
(H/T to my buddy Stephen Douglas)
