I’m just gonna spit it out, because the headline is the punchline: A Massachusetts woman was arrested Thursday for hitting her boyfriend in with a baseball. And not one of those River City Ransom things where you hold the baseball while you punch, she threw it at his face.
26-year old Maritza Alvarado faces a charge of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon after a heated argument led to a fastball to the f**king forehead. The story refers to her as a “Methuen resident” and it seriously took me five minutes to look at the AP header and realize that’s a place in Massachusetts. Not surprised to see a couple of Meth residents having a run-in with the cops.
The boyfriend in this story is what we on “The Wire” like to refer to as “a good soldier”.
The man, who police did not identify, was found with fresh bruise on the left top of his forehead. When asked what happened, he told police Alvarado got mad and threw something at him then refused to speak further about the beaning. He refused to seek a restraining order against her and would not talk to police.
It was unclear if Alvarado had an attorney.
…because it’s totally this guy.
In a related story, I wonder if Derek Jeter could get police to arrest a woman by saying she hit him with a baseball, whether she actually did or not?
[h/t Sportress of Blogitude]
