If You Bash Kate Upton To Draw Attention To Your Website, Beware The Internet's Rage

I have a confession, and you may want to take a seat, because this is going to blow your minds. Websites like to post blogs about Kate Upton, because they’re great for traffic. I know, right? Who would have thought that attractive super models with large breasts would draw significant readers? Simply mind-boggling.

What about the opposite, though? Imagine someone writing something incredibly mean about Upton. Perhaps that she’s a disgusting, fat cow, who is committing cannibalism by eating hamburgers in Carls Jr. commercials. That would draw a lot of traffic, too, right? You bet. Just ask “Skinny Gurl” at Skinny Gossip, a site that promotes the idea that only skinny is beautiful, as runway models should be drinking straws with nipples.

Back in June, this crusader for the thin opined that Upton is everything that is wrong with America. Buckle up, it’s about to get psychotic in here.

I thought cannibalism was illegal?!? If that’s not a very different species of cow, Kate could be in legal trouble!

Huge thighs, NO waist, big fat floppy boobs, terrible body definition – she looks like a squishy brick. Is this what American women are “striving” for now? The lazy, lardy look? Have we really gotten so fat in this country that Kate is the best we can aim for? Sorry, but: eww!

She looks like she would work in the back of a motorcycle shop in Nashville and give (bad) blow jobs for $25 (Um, please? – Ed.).

The poor girl is 19, but looks like a rough 30. She’s 150+ lbs, but dresses like she’s 115.

Yes, yes, I know that every tobacco-chewing, beer-drinking, shotgun-toting, NASCAR-watching man south of the Mason-Dixon line would love to get into her pants (or, as they say down South, “into her tent”, which in her case is the same thing) – but most of those guys wouldn’t know a beautiful woman if she jumped out in front of his pickup truck.

This girl belongs deep in the gutter of American commercialism – so don’t get any crazy ideas about her being a fashion model, OK?

I left out some of the other insults, like this classy lady calling Upton a piggy, but “Skinny Gurl” got her (probably his) wish and traffic came pouring in, thanks to the NY Daily News and others providing coverage. Alas, when you run a website that glorifies eating disorders by hosting “Starving Tips of the Day” you might get a little more attention than you bargained for.

Hence, Skinny Gossip’s convenient “changes”, including the suspension of those starving tips and a denial of promoting self-harm while admitting that the site’s community of “quite well known” fashion models – real winners on these message board threads – at least need a notice that promoting self-harm is wrong.

Either way, this is just a reminder on a slow news day that we take the Internet for granted, and a lot of people suck. While fat moo cow Kate Upton – and Barbara Palvin (!!!) and Ali Larter (that picture was taken two weeks ago, so maybe she’s been drinking mayonnaise since then), among other targets – is out there fighting bullying and trying to make people feel better about themselves, people like “Skinny Gurl” – basking in anonymity – want to promote hatred like there’s nothing wrong with it.

Thankfully, Reddit and Anonymous stepped in to correct her this time with a denial-of-service attack. Maybe it’ll make a difference, maybe not. I’m sure she’ll talk about that some more on the latest thread, “Fat Pride Burns My Hide”. To quote the great, attractive, pleasingly-plump Tina Fey: “People are the worst.”

/end rant