Lesson: Pick Up All Hitchhikers

Pro Wrestling Editor
06.02.11 7 Comments

Edmonton Oilers center Steve (I’m sorry, Gilbert) Brule thought he recognized a hitchhiker on the side of the road in British Columbia, so he got his girlfriend to stop the car, drive back and pick him up. It turns out the hitchhiker was f**king Bono of U2, and either this is the weirdest moment of kismet ever or the fakest story written by the fakest teen kid and sent in to the most gullible and possibly fakest news site. Which I guess would be us.

From Pro Sports Daily:

The pair then returned to find Bono, who confirmed his identity and asked for a lift to Horseshoe Bay. Brule and Nichols obliged, and Bono and his assistant traveled in back with Brule’s dog, Bella.

Bono then offered tickets to his show in Edmonton on Wednesday. Brule and Nichols agreed, and promptly sold their tickets to Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals in Vancouver to attend the U2 show.

Bono was so touched by the gesture that he addressed the crowd at the concert.

“I like ice hockey because people who play ice hockey are the kind of people who pick up hitchhikers,” Bono told the crowd. “I’m ever so grateful. I’ve decided that I want to be Gilbert Brule.”

Yeah, pretty sure this was written by Gilbert Brule.

Regardless, what the hell was Bono doing with his assistant and some U2 tickets on the side of the road in West Vancouver? Does he do this on purpose, waiting for somebody to drive by and be a good Samaritan so he can get them to trade Stanely Cup tickets for tickets to Zooropa (or whatever)? If I see a guy on the side of the road who looks like Tom Waits should I pick him up, even though there’s a 95% chance I’ll get robbed and stabbed, because he might actually be Tom Waits?

Thanks a lot, Bono.

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