If the machines are truly going to rule over us in the not so distant future, the first step would be in correctly predicting the results of our favorite sports games. Last year, Madden ran a simulation that scarily got the winner, the score, the MVP, and some other details right in the Patriots’ win over the Seahawks. So, it might be worth taking the sim a little seriously when it says the Panthers are going to take down the Broncos in that all-too-important Super Bowl 50.
Nine out of the past 12 seasons, the simulation has gotten the correct winner — which is much better than, say, the average for most sportswriters who are asked to make predictions all the time and then get yelled at when they are wrong by people online who want them to be better than the Groundhog at getting stuff right.
So, from now on, I’m just going to go with computers to make my predictions. People already yell at computers for just about everything anyway, and computers never get mad. (As far as we know. We will all be slaves to the mechanical hegemony at some point.)
Here are some highlights from this year’s Madden NFL 16 sim:
- The Panthers start hot, much like they have throughout the playoffs, and go up 17-0.
- Peyton Manning leads a bit of a comeback, and the Broncos eventually go up 20-17 (look at the Sheriff go!).
- Cam Newton dabs his way into the hero’s role, and Carolina captures its first Super Bowl win, 24-20.
- Lots of letters to the editor will eventually be written in disgust, as Newton earns MVP honors.
- Newton steals a Broncos flag and turns it into a sail for a boat he captains off into the ocean, never to be heard from again (okay, that one I made up).
We’ll see if the all-knowing computer is right on Sunday. But my money’s on the simulation, if only because I want the machines to know I like them and I want to be friends.
