Manny Ramirez is still playing baseball but at age 44 he’s learned to value the important things in life. Mainly, hotel suites and free sushi.
Ramirez signed a contract to play for the Kochi Island Fighting Dogs, who play in an independent league in Japan. ManRam’s contract details were revealed on Monday in a report by Boston Globe reporter Alex Speier. Included in the deal is all the amenities one would need to thrive in Japan—a Benz and a driver, fancy digs, little work, and lots of maki rolls.
At a press conference at which his No. 99 jersey (identifying him simply as “Manny”), a translated summary of the proceedings on the Yakyudb.com website reveals that:
1) Ramirez will have use of a Mercedes and driver
2) Practices are optional for him
3) He’ll get a hotel suite on the road
4) He will receive unlimited sushi for the entire season.
Unlimited. Sushi.
How do the particulars of this work? Baseball players travel, and sushi isn’t exactly a food that keeps well. It’s not like they’re towing around a crate of raw fish and bamboo mats ready to feed him on a whim. Is there some bat boy checking Japanese Yelp to find the best places on road trips to get Manny some spicy crunchy crab rolls? DOES HE HAVE SOME KIND OF SPECIAL SUSHI GIFT CARD?
Ramirez has a long history of doing weird stuff that’s extremely on brand. Wearing Oakley Thumps in the outfield during a game. Wandering into the Green Monster between innings just because. One time he dove to cut off Johnny Damon’s throw from center for no reason at all and allowed an inside-the-park home run.
But this … this is the most Manny Ramirez thing I can think of. And good for him for having the guys to ask for it. Let us all demand free sushi at our places of employment. This is truly our best labor movement, built on sticky rice and the achievable dream of a decent lunch. Cast off your sad desk lunches and practice your chopstick etiquette. Then get some sleep and get ready.
Tomorrow, we march.
(Via Bleacher Report)
