Even after my team locked up the worst record in the NBA, I’m trying hard to enjoy the NBA Playoffs because I think what LeBron James and the Miami Heat are doing this season, despite being what we’ve expected them to do from day one, is legendary stuff, and I think that the West is going to provide us with some exciting basketball all the way through Game 7 of the Conference Finals, before the eventual winner has to play the Heat in the NBA Finals.
Two things, though, are annoying the bejesus out of me. One, as always, is the completely idiotic scheduling that gives teams two days off between certain games, and is the reason why BASEketball gave us that hilarious scene about drawn out playoffs. The other, though, can only be explained with a Seinfeld reference. You know how Kramer practically has a seizure every time he hears Mary Hart’s voice? Well, that’s me with will.i.am.
Except instead of a seizure, I get really punchy. Case in point, ESPN’s “That Power” NBA Playoffs commercial, starring will.I.am and players from all of the playoff teams except for the ones that ESPN and the NBA don’t care about.
I don’t know why I hate will.i.am so much. I mean, there are a ton of bubble gum pop stars out there who are just as bad. Maybe it’s because he looks like he’d pick up a basketball and ask, “What’s this?” Or maybe it’s because he “accidentally” steals music. Or maybe it’s because he thinks Justin Bieber can say whatever he wants about Anne Frank as long as he’s not nailing hookers and snorting windmills full of PCP.
But this ain’t helping:
Punch punch punch.
PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH.
PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH.
PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH
Okay, that last one’s not entirely his fault. But how about a commercial of just this instead?
