Sports Finally Answers The Tim Tebow Question Nobody Has Been Asking

I read through a lot of gossip sites and strange, random fan blogs each week, not because I want to actually know anything about the personal lives of fame-starved reality trolls, but because we like to make fun of really stupid stuff that people do. Thankfully, I didn’t have to go much further than for this week’s most asinine celebrity idea, and of course it involves our favorite Man of Every Hour, Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow.
There’s no doubt that Tebow’s stock is higher than ever after the Broncos’ win over the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday – even the mayor of Pittsburgh is Tebowing – and he has already been dealing with rumors that he may have been responsible for skier Lindsey Vonn’s recent divorce. So apparently that was enough for to ask: “Hey, what if Tebow knocked up a bunch of married women? What would those little hell-bound, soulless bastards look like?”
And thanks to the site, the fine folks at got their answers. Their incredibly weird-looking, borderline creepy answers.

I’m pretty sure her husband would have Tebow killed.
She is recently single, and her parents would reportedly LOVE Tebow.
I don’t think Tebow fits her preferences, if you know what I mean.
Tebow would be in for one hell of a slap fight if he tried to take her away from Robert Pattinson. But even if he succeeded, that baby would be booooooooooooooring.
Lady Gaga Tweeted high praise for Tebow’s success, but she’s also huge with gay people. Tebow? Not so much.
I can’t remember if she’s still married to Brian Austin Green or not, but even Brady Quinn would be an upgrade.
I see what they did there.
I could sign on for this, only if: “Everyone in Mile High Stadium look under your seats…”
Pretty sure this guy would have a problem with that.
She’d only end up breaking his heart after she’d leave him to roll around on top of Sean Penn’s old ass again.
Actually, I wouldn’t mind seeing the Beliebers take on Tebow. Although, that might be worse than the Apocalypse.