So, the NFL season is set to begin Thursday night followed by a full slate on Sunday, which means that we’re about to get a whole lot of branding shoved in our faces. As the biggest moneymaking TV enterprise in a country dominated by corporations, the NFL is a branding behemoth. To that end, it has seen fit to give every one of its teams an official emoji, so that all social media engagement can be just as regulated as touchdown celebrations.
The real gem of this release is not the emojis, which I’m sure have some utility for fans texting each other and such. No, it’s the centralized database of each team’s NFL-approved hashtag, so that all fans looking to their corporate overlords for the most likely way for their tweets to be featured on local talk show scrolling feeds finally have their language. Of course, most of them are terrible. Let’s see which are the best of a truly uninspiring bunch.
32. Pittsburgh Steelers, #HereWeGo — From personal experience living in Pittsburgh, I know that it’s a reference to a truly awful fight song that plays in Steelers merch shops. In hashtag form, it’s even worse because it sounds like a knockoff beer ad slogan.
31. Seattle Seahawks, #WeAre12 — Years old. That’s what it sounds like you’re saying. We Are 12 Years Old. But hey, if that’s what you’re into.
30. Tennessee Titans, #TitanUp — IT’S NOT A VERB! Hell, even #ThunderUp from the NBA uses a team name that’s a singular concept. I have literally no idea how to Titan Up, or what that would look like. Oh wait, is it a play on “Tighten Up?” God. That doesn’t help.
29. Los Angeles Rams, #MobSquad — Is this a reference I should be getting? Seriously, what’s the connection? The only reason it’s this high is because it sounds cool free of context. Good luck explaining why it’s your thing, though.
28. New Orleans Saints, #Saints50 — Is that a reference to how many fans will be left once Drew Brees finally retires?