For those of you who don’t own the 2013 With Leather Calendar of Things You Probably Shouldn’t Know Exist*, May is National Masturbation Month, or as millions of men around the world call it – May. Naturally, there are special interest groups out there who have made it a collective goal to help both men and women understand that stroking the pickle and flicking the bean is nothing to be ashamed of.
So how do you spread this sticky philosophy? By organizing a month-long Masturbate-A-Thon in Philadelphia, naturally. The folks at ScrewSmart and Pleasure Rush! have established a CrowdRise fundraiser to help raise $3,000 during May in order to pay for a climactic (pun intended) event on May 27. Known as the Creamium!, this party will honor those who gave their forearms an extra special workout this month.
This month long event will conclude with the smutty and lovable Creamium. Winners of different categories will be recognized for their onanistic efforts. Creamium is a live debaucherous game show/dance party that tests participant’s knowledge of all things sexual. This event will be open to everyone who wants to celebrate sex! Award categories include:
• Most creative fantasy….rawrrrr!
• Most unique ways of getting yourself off throughout the month…how many licks does it take….
• Most pleasure connections….You’ll shout it from the hills!
• Most money raised…damn you’ve got some sex-positive and generous friends!
For a $50 donation, you can be recognized as a “Self Screwer”, and for $100 you’ll earn the honorary title of “Master Wanker”. But for the top donation of $250, you can forever be dubbed the “Hell’abater”. Unfortunately, as of right now, these groups have only raised $75. Probably because most of us earned Master Wanker status by high school. Am I right fellas?
But seriously…
*Which should probably actually exist.
