Rex Ryan And Mike Tannenbaum To Be On CSI

With the NFL season over and about two months before the draft, players and coaches need to find ways to fill their free time. What does Rex Ryan do? No, not eat a life-size statue of himself made out of hamburger. He guest stars on the crappy version of “CSI” with his general manager!

Jets coach Rex Ryan and general manager Mike Tannenbaum will shoot a scene for the CBS show “CSI: New York” on Wednesday in downtown Los Angeles.

Ryan, who was hired by Tannenbaum two years ago, will appear with his boss, as well as actors Gary Sinise and Eddie Cahill. Cahill and Sinise are regular cast members.

The episode is expected to air this spring. –NY Daily News.

I expect the whole episode to replace any use of the phrase “semen stains” with “BBQ sauce stains.” “Chief, we found this dead hooker with 15 stab wounds and Sweet Baby Ray’s all over her mouth, vaginal area and feet.” Delicious!

I hope Rex is the killer on this episode. There wouldn’t be a body after he was done killing it. Rex would just call his twin brother Rob over and they’d have a light brunch. It’s because they’re gross and fat, you see.

However, the other route could be just as funny: make it a very special buddy-cop episode with Mike as the straight-laced cop while Rex is the fat, drunk guy who always provides the food for the walk-and-eat in every crime drama. You know what I’m talking about; there’s always that scene where they discuss the murder quickly while eating something like a jelly donut or falafel. Rex will be ALL OVER THAT.

This promises to be the most-viewed “CSI: New York” in history. They’re hoping to beat the previous record of seven viewers. Seriously, “CSI: Miami” is watched because of how outrageous David Caruso is, and the original one is watched for reasons I can’t comprehend. This could be the only reason you should ever watch “CSI: New York,” though.