I’m a little hurt, Peyton Manning. If you had told me you’d be at Rob Lowe’s Comedy Central roast — which airs Labor Day — doing Tom Brady jokes, I would have helped you out free of charge. Even a mediocre joke that points out Brady is a liar and/or cheater is delightful, but you are Peyton Manning, so more is expected.
In 2012, when neck issues appeared to signal the end of Manning’s career, Lowe (of all people) fired off a tweetstorm about how Manning would retire. Obviously, he did not, but that was his jumping-off point for sticking it to Brady, who will serve a four-game suspension to start this season for his part in Deflategate.
“I don’t worry about Rob Lowe. He is a workhorse. And heck man, if they ever stop casting you in sitcoms, just look on the bright side. You tried to take the air out of my retirement so fast, you can probably get a job as Tom Brady’s ball boy.”
Zing! Deflategate involved the AFC title game and the Indianapolis Colts, Manning’s former team, so you get why he went there, and maybe there are more jokes. I wish I had more time, more of a chance to help.
“Rob and Tom have a lot in common. They both got in trouble for illegally using video cameras, and neither had their careers destroyed because of it and neither of them has defeated Eli Manning in a Super Bowl.”