Robinson Cano Is Seeking A 10-Year Deal Worth At Least $305 Million

With the New York Yankees now eliminated from playoff contention for just the second time in the last 18 or so years, the sports media can finally focus on what really matters – how much money they’ll spend in the offseason. And if there’s time, we can possibly discuss the other losers that are still competing for a World Series title. But for now, the most important story in baseball is Robinson Cano and how much money he thinks he’s worth as a free agent.

That number? $305 million over 10 years. Now, some people may argue that this is hilariously impossible, as most teams are looking to follow the new blueprint of spending less to develop farm talent, as opposed to handing out horrible contracts like the decade deal that was just given to Albert Pujols. But Cano is a lifetime .309 hitter who has never hit more than 33 home runs and has only 3 seasons with 100+ RBI, so I’m sure that a team is willing to give him $30 million per year.

Wait, no. He’s sure. Because the only thing I’m sure about is that he’s insane.

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Cano and his agent, Brodie Van Wagenen, who has the most sports agent name ever, haven’t said anything about the numbers, but they have said plenty about rhetoric.

The superstar’s agent, Brodie Van Wagenen of Creative Artists Agency, had the following to say about his client’s negotiation process: “Out of respect to both parties, we have agreed all along with the Yankees not to comment publicly on discussions regarding Robinson’s contractual future. I am abiding by that agreement and I will not confirm any discussions or offers or whether there have been offers by either side.

“As Robinson said yesterday, he hasn’t made any decisions on his future. Robinson is among the elite talents in the game and is in the final few days of his contract, but he and I will continue to respect the process and our promise to not discuss specifics.” (Via CBS New York)

If I had to guess which teams would be willing to pay a 30-year old second baseman $30 million a year until he’s 40, I’d say maybe the Los Angeles Dodgers if they’re knocked out of the playoffs early, or maybe the Angels if they still think throwing piles of money at offense is a better strategy than signing pitchers. Otherwise, here’s the reaction I expect from almost every GM in baseball: