I didn’t say it, Dana White did. He proposed — although mockingly — that should his star women’s MMA champ Ronda Rousey blaze her way through Cat Zingano this weekend the same way she’s beaten her previous opponents, he would have to start matching her up against men. Rousey’s path of destruction has been nothing short of astounding: 10-0, with eight first-round armbar submissions, a TKO, a KO, and only once has she been taken past the first round.
If she does walk through Zingano at UFC 184, what would be next for the women’s bantamweight champ? Cris “Cyborg” is lurking in the rafters somewhere, and she’s rumored to actually be in attendance at the PPV this weekend. But, if negotiations with her don’t pan out — gut feeling says we’ll know for sure at the event — then in this alternate universe we imagine if Rousey entered the men’s division.
Bryan Caraway
This one has actually been ruminated upon before, with Joe Rogan saying he wouldn’t mind these two going at it. Ever since Rousey beat Miesha Tate in Strikeforce in 2012, Caraway — Tate’s boyfriend — and Rousey have had more than one exchange of harsh sentiments. Caraway mentioned on Twitter that if Rousey wants to challenge a man, he would “knock her teeth dwn (sic) her throat the (sic) break her arm!.”
Challenge accepted. Caraway has shown that he likes to go to the ground, with 17 of his 19 wins by submission. Rousey will negate that by standing with him like she did with Alexis Davis.
Winner: Rousey by first round referee stoppage.
Joe Warren
The Bellator bantamweight champ is a ground-and-pound artist with eight of his 12 wins coming by decision. Warren is also getting a little long in the tooth at almost 40 years of age, and Rousey is young, fast, and smart. Warren likely will charge in at Rousey, suspecting that his strength will overcome Rousey’s technique, and he’ll get caught in the first round just like he did back in 2009 against Bibiano Fernandes.
Winner: Rousey by first round armbar.
Urijah Faber
“The California Kid” is already involved in one upcoming superfight — against Frankie Edgar (can’t wait!) — so how about another? In this one, Rousey would take her time, with Faber’s legendary conditioning and fight IQ factoring in her decision not to rush in. Faber never loses in non-title bouts, though, and this one would be no different.
Winner: Faber by second round rear naked choke.
Dominick Cruz
When he’s healthy, Cruz is one of the best fighters in the world. His footwork, speed, and timing are unprecedented, but it’s been a long time since he’s been healthy. Rousey will likely target one of Cruz’s knees with kicks because she gives no f*cks and is as vicious as they come. Unfortunately, this one will be over before it starts.
Winner: Rousey by forfeit (Cruz blew out his spine with a sneeze on the way down the aisle.)
T.J. Dillashaw
This man beat the dangerous Renan Barão and looked like a million bucks doing it. It’s likely he’ll be sitting upon the bantamweight throne for sometime. In this one, Dillashaw outclasses, and outstrikes Rousey because he’s really, really good. No hyperbole here.
Winner: T.J. Dillashaw, who flashes his beautiful smile and successfully asks Rousey out on a date afterwards.
