Here Is State Farm’s Response To The NFL’s Discount Double Check Injury Epidemic

State Farm’s Discount Double Check has caused two serious injuries in the NFL this season, both in the NFC North. First, it was Lions LB Stephen Tulloch, who celebrated a sack of Aaron Rodgers.

Then, just this past weekend, LaMarr Houston celebrated a sack with his team down like a billion points.

Both players are out for the season with torn ACLs. Nobody, and I mean nobody’s blaming State Farm for the injuries. This was a situation where “stupid is as stupid does.” But because of brand integrity and PR douchiness, State Farm released an equally douchey statement.

“It’s very unfortunate that these players injured themselves while celebrating, but it is our belief that the Discount Double Check is not inherently dangerous,” said a State Farm spokeswoman. “In fact, it can be used to help you save money on insurance when performed correctly. We encourage all athletes to celebrate responsibly.”

You know whose fault this is right? Yep, you guessed it, Darren Rovell. What a herculean sh*tbird.