The Super Bowl is less than two weeks away, as the team you’re rooting for in all likelihood will take on the New England Patriots. Still, whether you want the Los Angeles Rams to win or if you are That Person, we can all agree on one thing: There is nothing better than putting money down on things come Super Bowl Sunday that have nothing to do with [Mack Brown voice] the great game of football.
This year, there’s a whole litany of prop bets that aren’t related to the game. I am here to tell you which prop bets are worth tossing a few dollars on. You should take my advice, because the last time I was in Las Vegas, I bet $10 on Penn State basketball to win the 2019 NCAA Tournament, and that is guaranteed to happen.
Here are some of the best bets you can make, with all lines coming via BetDSI:
1. Total times Donald Trump tweets during the game?
Over 1
Under 1
Sadly, we don’t have odds on this one, but once it pops up, you should absolutely throw some cash down on POTUS not posting during the game. If the government shutdown is still going on while the game is happening, I’ll be a little leery, a feeling I’ll also have in the event someone (whether a player or someone performing during the game) uses the platform that comes with the Super Bowl to promote social justice. Still, he’s gonna be locked in on the game. Some even say it’s the best game. Can you believe it? Don’t we love it, folks?
2. Will Trump congratulate winning team via Twitter by midnight on 2/3/19?
Yes -150
No +120
Is the value great here? No, it is not, but seeing as how he posted right after the Philadelphia Eagles won last year, I think it’s safe to say he’s going to tweet at some point. This gets a bit hairy if the game goes long, or if the “very unfair and unqualified referees” keep his pals on the Patriots from winning and he stews until the morning, but otherwise, this seems like a safe bet.
3. Which will be higher?
Trump approval rating on 2/4/19 (according to Rasmussen Reports)
Yardage of longest made field goal
This one is a bit tough, because while Trump’s approval ratings have gone down more than a full percentage point since the start of 2019 and are getting close to falling under 40 percent, Rasmussen has a well-documented conservative lean. Still, Rams kicker Greg Zuerlein (aka Legatron aka Greg the Leg aka Young GZ) can boot the hell out of a ball, while Patriots kicker Stephen Gostkowski (aka, uh, Steve, maybe?) is no slouch, either. Kickers need love, too.
4. Length of National Anthem (Gladys Knight)
Over 107 seconds (-115)
Under 107 seconds (-115)
Do I have a reason for picking this? Not particularly. Pink sang it last year, however, and took 113 seconds. I trust that Gladys Knight, in her hometown, is going to knock this one out of the park and take her time doing it.
5. Will Adam Levine, Travis Scott or Big Boi take a knee?
Yes -300
No +220
Call me skeptical, but I just cannot imagine the NFL letting the halftime show happen without having all of its bases covered. God forbid someone protest systemic inequality and police brutality, especially in the midst of the United States’ premier sporting event that celebrates the hyper-capitalistic system that emboldens both of those things. I hope Big Boi does “B.O.B.,” though.
6. Will Chick-fil-A in Mercedes-Benz Stadium serve food on Super Bowl Sunday (2/3/19)?
Yes +1500
No -5000
Folks, here is our value play for the Super Bowl. Do I think Chick-fil-A will compromise its morals and open its Mercedes-Benz Stadium location on the lord’s day because the Super Bowl is in town? I do not. But it’s worth tossing $10 on this — if you can find it, of course — and hoping that the NFL can work its … I don’t want to say magic but yeah, that.
7. Will any player use a prop during TD celebration?
Yes +300
No -400
Does the ball count as a prop? Because if the ball counts as a prop — and I believe it should, because this is my article — Yes +300 is a dang steal. If not, let’s hope for a pylon putt or for Gronk to score and celebrate by throwing a dishwasher or something.
8. Total amount of seven-figure wagers on Super Bowl LIII at Nevada sportsbooks (as reported by ESPN Chalk)
Over 6.5 (-110)
Under 6.5 (-120)
From what I can tell, four seven-figure wagers were placed on Super Bowl LII, and one was placed on Super Bowl LI. It’s certainly possible this changes, but let’s not overthink it. Also please do not wager on how much other people will wager.
9. Will any actor wear a Colin Kaepernick jersey in a commercial?
Yes +450
No -600
I would imagine that a Nike ad with Kaepernick, a la the one we saw earlier this year, that features clips of his NFL career wouldn’t count. Still, let’s roll with this one. There is value in it and there’s been plenty of chatter about Kaepernick in the weeks leading up to the game, namely because of the musical performances. A woke ad with someone wearing a Kaepernick jersey isn’t the craziest idea.
10. Will “Dilly Dilly” be said during a Bud Light commercial?
Yes -200
No +150
Listen I’m not happy about it either, but it’s free money.
