Pre-show notes:
– Please make sure to leave a comment on the report. Facebook likes and Twitter shares are huge. These take forever to write, so if you want me to keep them up instead of just posting Ultimate Handball Fails videos like a normal popular sports blog should, do your part.
– Thanks to Casey of the WWE Magazine awareness-winning Hammerlock Dialectic for pics and gifs. Without your help, the column would be 100 times more difficult to read.
– Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.
Anyway, going to get right to it. Please enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for May 28, 2012. Memorial Day. The Troops!
Best: The Big Show. Wait, What?
I don’t know how to say this, but last night, I became a Big Show fan.
I think we’re all in agreement that Raw should never, ever, ever begin with 20 minutes of monologue. It doesn’t make sense in kayfabe (why would the people in charge of a wrestling show allow their first quarter hour to be a random employee airing his personal business instead of wrestling happening?) and is rarely interesting enough to warrant 20 minutes instead of the 2 1/2 it’d normally take to say. It’s especially not necessary when you give it to a guy whose most memorable promo to date is about him driving motorcycles out into the desert and trying to make a jacket out of the Undertaker. At least I think that’s what it was about, I might’ve just watched The Shining before bedtime and imagined it.
That all being said, I loved Show’s opening promo last night. It accomplished some very important, very basic things like:
– Justifying some of the dumb stuff from the last few weeks. Why didn’t anyone show up to help Show or stand up for him when Laurinaitis was “making an example” of him? CM Punk showed up to argue video game covers but he can’t make an appearance the one time his “voice of the voiceless” thing is necessary? Show addressed it. Why did Cena spend the last 15 minutes of Raw making Ace Ventura noises in John Laurinaitis’ face instead of saying something important? Show addressed it. Why did they jump right into Brodus Clay dancing when they were supposed to be Owen Voicing Show’s firing? Show addressed it. Show even called out Kofi Kingston and R-Truth specifically so their run-in to save Brodus at the end of the show would make sense. It’s all about reason and thematic purpose, and Show tied a bunch of bullshit together and made it purposeful. That’s good writing.
– He mentioned that he’d always been worried about job security, which explains so much of the dumb stuff Show’s done in his career. Wrestling celebrities, wearing a diaper, hell, even filming Knucklehead. But now he’s “sold out” and gotten the contract he’s always needed, so he doesn’t have to pretend anymore — he can be a 7-foot-4, 500-pound guy who can murder you in two f**king seconds. That’s awesome, and that is the best and most honest use of a guy that size ever. He’s not showing up to be a sideshow act, he’s showing up to be bigger and stronger than you and hurt you and make money. It’s very easy to make wrestling sound like a real thing somebody would do with their life, and I’m shocked they don’t try harder to regularly do so.
– He even tied it up at the end, bringing it back around to the smile on his face.
So how is it that the f**king Big Show is responsible for the most well-reasoned, well-written and constructive opening soliloquy on Raw this year? I have no idea, but I’m happy he’s done it, and I’m excited to see him follow through with it and not just get Attitudinally Adjusted onto a spotlight or whatever and get mid-carded back down to Mark Henryville.
Worst: “The Darkest Day In WWE History”
One of my biggest LOLs for the night is Big Show’s knockout punch on John Cena at Over The Limit being called the “darkest day in WWE History”. Here are ten things off the top of my head that were darker than a guy who always turns on people turning on somebody:
1. Owen Hart falling from the rafters and dying because you thought it’d be funny to dress him up like a super hero, have him cut a promo about how awesome milk is and then make him wrestle a pimp.
2. Chris Benoit murdering his wife and child.
3. The next night when you had a two hour tribute to the guy who murdered his wife and child and probably knew about it, but when through with it anyway.
4. That time Jake the Snake made a snake bite Macho Man for real.
5. That time Jake the Snake put a snake on George Wells and made him vomit up cream cheese.
6. When Triple H snuck into a funeral home and filmed himself having sex with a cheerleader mannequin meant to represent Kane’s dead ex-girlfriend and then scooping out her brains.
7. Kurt Angle equating having sex with a black woman to “doing bestiality”.
8. Big Bossman driving the Blues Brothers car to Big Show’s funeral, stealing Big Show’s father’s corpse and forcing show to surf on it as he dragged it away.
9. Stephanie McMahon revealing that Vince had whored her out to random businessmen when she was younger, possibly a child.
10. Undertaker being chokeslammed through the burning bones of his dead mother and father.
So yeah, this Big Show versus John Cena timeline is only at 10% darkness. We could go a lot darker. I didn’t even mention that time Rob Van Dam won two world titles at once. Jesus Christ.
Best: Alberto Del Rio Sticking Up For Ricardo
Mi corazon <3
I've read a lot of negative feedback online about the United States Champion being "squashed", but honestly, belt or no belt how is an Alberto Del Rio versus Santino Marella match supposed to go? Ricardo Rodriguez and that Slater/Reks/Hawkins trifecta of guys whose WrestleMania moment equated to "yes Mr. Flo Rida sir" are the only guys on the roster who should fear Santino. Alberto Del Rio is lucha royalty, motherf**ker, he should take a couple of your dumb Ernest Miller split hip-tosses, get up, kick you in the stomach and break your arm.
I'm a total Alberto Del Rio homer, I'll admit, and in a perfect world the U.S. championship would still mean something and it wouldn't be North America's equivalent to the Open the Owarai Gate title, but I liked the quick, logical match between two guys who are great at two very different kind of pro wrestling … and how could you not love him defending the honor of Ricardo? That’s his best employee! Only HE can bully Ricardo! ADR is the bomb and is like two months of not being beaten into futility by John Cena away from becoming my favorite guy on the show again.
If Santino’s tapping with the cobra arm, shouldn’t that hurt Del Rio? I guess he needs to position the head to make it work, he can’t just go clotheslining dudes with a snake body.
Best: Alex Riley Should Only Exist Backstage
I don’t like Alex Riley as a wrestler, but I like him as an NPC who shows up backstage to tattle to Chris Jericho or accompany CM Punk in a speaking-part hallway-walk to segue into a conversation with an important person or pointlessly flirt with Eve until someone twice his size shows up and puts the fear of God in him.
He should be one of those construction workers you could F-5 to their death through the grated floor of a construction site or whatever in WrestleMania XIX for the Gamecube. Better yet, he could start painting himself black (or put on one of Team Rocket’s Invisible Suits) and become the living embodiment of his Mystery Opponent Silhouette.
Best: Dolph Ziggler Is Finally Done With This
A few truths about the WWE Tag Team Championship bout and the post-match fallout:
1. It wasn’t anything to write home about. The crowd was hot and the wrestling was serviceable, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a billion times before, the infuriating commercial break gutted most of what would’ve been good about it and Jack Swagger seriously does not need to still be taking pinfalls off the R-Bitrator, or whatever the hell R-Truth is calling his finish this month.
2. The Ass Roll better make it into WWE ’13.
3. Dolph Ziggler needs to get away from this team permanently.
Number three is the big one. When he walked away after the match I thought he was making a clean break so he could officially, finally Super No Vacancy become an upper-echelon WWE guy. He’s got the talent to make that happen, he’s good enough on the microphone to make it on his own and he’s never going to be a thing if he stays attached to the hip of a manager 80 times more over than him. Give your Hunicos and Camachos to Vickie (not racist) so they can benefit. Ziggler’s gone as far as he can go here, and it hasn’t been very far.
Sadly they filmed that extra segment later where Ziggler and Vickie are still pals and he just wants singles matches, but it’s still something.
Best: Finally, The Dinosaur Gets A Purpose
As much as I was enjoying things, I started losing interest during the tag match (Ziggler and Kofi in the ring together will do that to me), but Brodus Clay standing up for Santino and challenging the Big Show to a match got me right back into it.
Here’s a quick, non-numbered list of reasons why this made me excited: Important continuity (Show mentioning Clay’s dancing overshadowing his firing earlier in the show, giving Show a reason to want to accept his challenge), unimportant but positive continuity (Brodus sticking up for Santino!), the first fresh match on Raw in like 14 years, an unrepentant HOSS FIGHT, Brodus getting into a situation wherein he gets to talk like a human, Big Show getting a match against a guy who SHOULD give him a good fight but not such a good fight they’ve got to do melodramatic shit like destroy the ring with a superplex, Brodus getting a match against a guy who like him or not is an important player in WWE, Cole suddenly playing up Brodus Clay’s STREAK~ and on and on. It hit me in exactly the right spot. I am prepared to put Mammy-Gate behind me and get back on the Funkasaurus train.
And again, this is all thanks to simple, mindful writing. Stuff makes sense! Even if it’s bad, I will blindly praise pro wrestling for the next half a decade if they just make everything make sense.
Best: WWE ’13 Will Be Bigger Than Pac-Man
WWE managed to follow all of that with the two biggest “Best” lay-ups of the year: Daniel Bryan versus CM Punk in a long Raw match, and Executive Vice President Of Talent Relations, Permanent General Manager Of Both Raw And Smackdown and People Power Purveyor “Big” John Laurinaitis using his acquired provisions for the sovereign under the prerogative of purveyance to name himself the cover model for WWE ’13. I could’ve been in a coma when this happened and my dead vegetable hands would’ve typed “bes;; john larnits videa game lol”
As a few people mentioned in last night’s open discussion thread and in random Twitter conversations with me (people have those), I (and others) would be willing to drop the extra 10 bucks or whatever to get a copy of the game with the Team Johnny cover. You gave me a pink Ziggler shirt, WWE, make this happen. Niche assholes have expendable incomes sometimes, too.
Worst: “CM Punk’s Middle School Taunting And Penis Jokes Are Hilarious And Progressive” – Everybody
I’m in a tight spot and need to talk to you about it.
I like CM Punk. He was my second favorite wrestler for the longest time, and he’s one of the only wrestlers I’ve ever met where I was too scared to really talk to him or ask him for an autograph or photo. He’s a talented guy in the ring and outside of it, but WWE has a way of turning marquee babyfaces into these unbearable adult sixth-graders who smirk too much and always get the last word and are the coolest and toughest and smartest Batman-types in the room. I loved Steve Austin, but he ran out that one time and beat up the entire WCW and ECW rosters by himself. I loved The Rock, but he started calling his dick a strudel and dispatching entire subcategories of NsWO by spitting on his hand and slapping them. I loved Punk, but now he’s just showing up and snarking on people and Jim Halperting at the camera and I can’t think of a lot of good things to say about it.
Punk criticism is why I’m called “too negative”, mostly by people who got into wrestling last summer. I don’t want to take a dump on what he’s doing all the time, but he’s such a f**king ruiner lately, and last night he seriously showed up JUST to Ashley Massaro the people in the ring with an enormous poster of himself and spend a few minutes talking about his dick before calling Eve a hoeski, reinforcing that “you aren’t black enough” episode of The Fresh Prince by calling David Otunga Carlton and more or less bullying everybody out of the ring. Then he put a piece of cardboard in the corner and stomped it a bunch.
There’s no reason to be all, “OH PAC-MAN, REALLY, WHAT A TIMELY REFERENCE”. Pac-Man was an incredibly popular video game. What’s John Laurinaitis supposed to say, “THIS GAME WILL BE MORE POPULAR THAN ELDER SCROLLS FIVE SKYRIM”? If he had, wouldn’t Punk just say “oh okay you’re trying to sound cool” and then scoff and hold up a sign that says DIABLO III AVAILABLE NOW and thrust his dick through it and jab Laurinaitis in the eye? YOU’RE A RUINER. Be likable to wrestling fans who have good relationships with other people.
Worst: That Video Game Is Going To Be Fun For Like Four Days
Seriously though, if you buy WWE ’13 at any point before it’s $9.99 at Buybacks you are dumb. Every year they do the same thing: they make it look cool, they add a bunch of people to the roster, they throw out some trailers and Comic Sans MS the words INFERNO MATCH or whatever across them and you justify to yourself that they finally fixed it and drop 60 bucks. Then you play it and it sucks, but you stick with it because you need to learn how to play before you bail, and it’s fine and all but storyline mode is 500 consecutive handicap backstage brawls and create-a-wrestler only has 10 moves and 8 of them are reanimated bodyslams and you have to go through all 8 story modes to unlock enough points to use them. Then you play an actually fun game and forget about it until two years later when somebody you know who likes wrestling stops by.
I will only buy WWE ’13 if WCW/nWO Revenge is included in its entirety as a bonus feature.
Best: Take A Wild Guess
Daniel Bryan and CM Punk wrestled a long, hard-fought match on Raw and I enjoyed the hell out of it. That should be the entire entry for this best. “Wrestlers I like to watch wrestle had a good wrestling match on the wrestling!”
There was no Over The Limit report (sorry about that), so as far as Punk versus Bryan observations go … I like Dragon’s YES kickpads a lot. I like that Daniel Bryan routinely tears apart his opponents’ arms, which goes really well with Punk and his need to pretend like his left arm is about to fall off in every match. I don’t hate on “rest holds”. Submission holds are and can be exciting. “Rest holds” in the derisive use of the term is meant to explain away shit like Johnny Valentine headlocking a dude and lying in the middle of the ring with it on for 20 minutes. Dragon meticulously pulling Punk’s arm in twain is way more realistic and compelling in terms of an actual fight than guys running at each other. They also run at each other, so this is great for everyone.
Raw seems like it’s always killing time, like they’ve only got an hour of material for a two hour show and half to pad it out with special sneak peeks at Necessary Roughness and video package re-runs, so I’ve never understood why they don’t kill that time with shit 20% of their audience wants to see. Sure, there might be 80% of the audience who isn’t into a back-and-forth wrestling match, but if you follow that up with 20% of something different, then 20% of Diva bikini invitationals or whatever and so on and so forth you’ve eventually built a 100% WWE show with something on it for everyone. That’s what made the Monday Night Wars so good … not the ratings, the fact that they were playing to EVERYBODY to try to get EVERYBODY watching. Smark nerds are included in everybody, so Bryan/Punk is our modern Blitzkrieg/Juventud.
Do more of this, please.
Best: AJ Punk
Okay, three lay-ups.
If Punk is set on being the new Macho Man, he needs an Elizabeth. Daniel Bryan is an asexual vegan pro-wres machine so he doesn’t need her, but Punk is at least as famous for headboard-notching Divas as he is for that terrible tribute elbow drop, so pairing him with AJ as a crazy, less “abused in real life” Miss Elizabeth is choice. She can contribute to his matches (see the upcoming Kane “Best”), she gains 1000% more notoriety being the second to the most Internet popular guy in the company, she’s athletic enough to get mixed up in the action without having to stand on the apron and show her underwear AND it gets her on TV on the reg. That’s a win in every direction.
Also, if the girl is into cosplay you might as well let her dress up like wrestlers. Sad we never got AJ in burgundy trunks. As far as WWE Diva CM Punk cosplay goes, you will always be in second place.
Best: Even This Post-Match Thing With Kane Is Working For Me
That’s how much I was feeling this show: Kane showed up to attack Daniel Bryan with a chair and I liked it and it was purposeful and made sense. +1 to whoever put this together.
Seriously though, Kane stories NEVER make sense, but here it does — Daniel Bryan used Kane as a pawn to get CM Punk disqualified in a match and hit him with a chair. Kane went the WWE route and had a GRR ARGH REVENGE match against Bryan, which was interrupted by Punk trying to do to Bryan what Bryan had done to him. Fed up with it all, Kane decides to wait until they’re wrestling each other, rush out with a chair and beat the shit out of them. He gets to Bryan, but doesn’t get to Punk, thanks to AJ’s help … which leads to a CM Punk/Kane match on this week’s Smackdown. I’m almost knocked on my ass by how easily the story works, and you know what the best part is? Kane waited until the match was over to do his run-in. It makes sense for Kane (attack them while they’re tired) and it makes sense for me (I get an entire match and don’t have to put my head through the television).
Is this real life?
Worst: Raw 1000 Looms
Yeah, this is real life.
The LASSIE HAD 600 EPISODES BUT WE HAVE 1000 commercial has been playing for a couple of weeks, but I’ve been trying to ignore it. That “WWE has 1 hour of programming for a 2 hour show” thing becomes agony when they go to three hours (and still only have 1 hour of programming with which to fill it), and starting with the 1000th episode EVERY Raw will be three hours. I’ve fallen victim to the WAIT AND SEE HOW IT GOES BEFORE YOUR CRITICIZE talking point before, but Christian still looks like a dumb idiot for losing the World Heavyweight Championship to Randy Orton in a week, Kevin Nash and the Mystery Texting storyline didn’t go f**king anywhere except Fetid Asshole-town and a year’s worth of three hour Raws make Jack a dull boy. If I end up chasing Destiny through a hedge maze this winter, I apologize.
Also, how hilarious is it that Lassie had 600 goddamn episodes? LASSIE? Name a Lassie plot other than “what is it girl, Timmy is stuck in a well?” You can’t do it. It was literally just Timmy getting trapped in a well 600 times in a row and the townspeople seeing the dog run up and humoring it for a minute before grabbing their shovels.
Best: Christian Is Doing Things!
Being positive is tiring. Where the hell is Triple H? THIS BUSINESS! Ha, you guys know what I’m talking about.
Anyway, I’m digging Christian as the Intercontinental Champion who wrestles, even if he isn’t defending the IC title. If he’s gonna win the match, why not make it for the IC title? In the long long ago, “non-title match” was code for “the champion’s going to lose but we don’t want him to lose the belt”. Now it’s code for “we don’t care about the belts”. Not that Miz would’ve looked a lot better losing an Interconintental Championship match, but he wouldn’t have looked worse winning a match for nothing.
Regardless, Christian/Miz was the latest example of the best possible way to use Christian: as a guy who wrestles on every show. He’s one of the few WWE guys who builds on previous matches (this is what made his stuff with Orton so good) and he can get passable TV out of literally anyone, including Miz, who hasn’t had something approaching a good match since like last February. That’s what he did as ECW Champion — he wrestled guys like Jack Swagger and made them look GOLDEN. This is the spot where guys like Miz, Drew McIntyre and whoever else need to get slotted into when WWE needs to see how good they are. If the match with Christian is good, they aren’t great. If it’s great, they’re good. If it’s terrible, they’re Edge.
Additional Best goes to Cody Rhodes for having no idea how to talk to Jerry Lawler without rolling his eyes and saying “well f**king obviously” with every other part of his body.
Best: John Laurinaitis Is A Good Boss
Weirdly enough, one of my favorite moments on the show was John Laurinaitis yelling at David Otunga and Eve backstage. He didn’t come across as the evil pinhead cronie GM like he does when he’s talking to Punk or Cena … he’s the John Laurinaitis I love, the Ron Donald from ‘Party Down’ character, the one who is upset with you but he still likes you, he’s just constantly disappointed over basic-ass stuff and wants you to do better. Otunga brings that out in him. In fact, I’d say the relationship between Laurinaitis and Eve/Otunga mirrors that of Vince McMahon and Stephanie and Shane. Vince wants what’s best for them, but the only way he knows how to talk to people is through angry fussing or disingenuous compliments. As much as they want Big Johnny to be No Chance In Hell Vince, he’s tepid announcer Vince all the way.
Worst: She Didn’t Ask For Iced Coffee, Idiot
I’m glad the Teddy Long storyline hasn’t gone anywhere. When he got put in a maid outfit with a comically large nametag I thought they were doing it to build to something, like R-Boom was gonna be all NOW HOLD ON TEDDY YOU CAINT LET HIM TREAT YOU LIKE THIS and we’d get another ‘The Office’-esque WHO WILL BE IN CHARGE story. But no, he’s just their maid now.
The Worst here is simple: Eve tells Teddy to bring her a coffee. He does, she tastes it and spits out out, complaining that the coffee is cold. Teddy reponds, “of course it’s cold. It’s iced coffee!” And I guess the joke is supposed to be that Eve doesn’t know what she asked for, but she asked for COFFEE, not ICED COFFEE. They should follow the segment with Cena bringing Eve to the ring and calling her a tumultuous bitch for not knowing coffee is supposed to be cold.
Worst: With Chris Jericho Gone, Randy Orton RKO’s The Closest Thing He Can Find
Theory: Randy Orton didn’t wander out and RKO The Miz to “shut his mouth” or whatever, he just couldn’t find Chris Jericho anywhere and saw a short, spray-tanned, too-many-carbs-ab’d, slow-talking dude with a faux-hawk and sparkly tights complaining about his spot on the show and thought that was where he was supposed to be R’ing KO.
Secondary Theory: It may be time for Mike Mizanin (FKA WWE Superstar The Miz) to join John Hennigan at Wizard World. They could sell group photos for double the price!
Best: Put Ziggler Over, You Orange Bastard
And that led directly to Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero standing shoulder-to-shoulder backstage, their shoulders forming a direct line toward the television (because I always watch TV while facing the wall, standing as close to my friends as possible), talking about how Ziggler needs to be Randy Orton and have impromptu singles success. I was hoping Vickie’s response was gonna be, “Sheamus has a match coming up, just randomly interfere at the end and Zig Zag him”, but it was “I’ll see what I can do”, and that (again) is something. This should lead to Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler at No Way Out, which should lead to Ziggler getting a clean win over a guy who could lose clean for the next 10 years straight and be exactly the same amount of popular, which should lead to Ziggler getting the Mr. Perfect WWE title push Mr. Perfect never got.
I also would’ve accepted “Brodus Clay has a match later, you should try running and jumping at him”.
Best: David Otunga Versus Sheamus
It may have been the dentist gas talking, or it might’ve been an hour and forty minutes of good show making me delirious, but I even thought David Otunga versus Sheamus was a good match. DAVID OTUNGA. WRESTLING. AGAINST SHEAMUS.
Here’s my rationale: People like Dolph Ziggler get criticized for making wrestling seem too fake, because they bump like crazy for everything and look like video game characters. I remember Christopher Daniels in particular getting shit on a lot for wrestling like a video game, always doing the same things in the same way, the same level of quality, the same perfect moonsault, the same everything. Some people hate the Dragon Gate style sprints where guys run in and hit their finishes and are setting up for the next thing.
Otunga/Sheamus was a contrast to that, because they looked like they were actually sorta fighting. Otunga is still awkward and the least crisp guy ever, but Sheamus works well with that. He can take a lot of punishment, and it looks cooler when he struggles to scoop a guy up (and still does it) instead of the guy just jumping into place. The strikes looked like they connected, and frankly Otunga was beating his ass for a good portion of the match. Sheamus came back, threw some offense at Otunga that Dave couldn’t take, did his “here comes my finisher” taunt and actually connected with it. Hard. It was a short match between guys with a 0 in grace and for what it was, I liked it. I may never like another Otunga match again, but there you go.
Best: Big Show Just Became My Wrestling Fandom In Person Form
Raw gets a small “Worst” for baiting and switching me on a formal Show/Funkasaurus match (I wanted this to be Clay’s first loss, so he doesn’t have to lean on the streak gimmick and can feasibly be in believable trouble in the future instead of always being 20 seconds away from a splash and a Funkadactylic splits-off), but I love how it went down … Show continued to bring the everyman awesome by calling Brodus just as much of a sell-out for dropping the I AM THE END OF HUMANITY thing for a dancing black guy gimmick, compared it to some of the stupid shit he’d done in the past (calling back to the opening promo) and then just f**king took it to him. That spear to start things off was COLOSSAL.
Occasionally we must find joy in fat guys killing each other. I watched this entire segment with a smile on my face. Show backed up his insults by beating the living dog-mess out of Brodus, kicking the announce table to pieces and just non-chalantly murdering him in front of a couple of screaming go-go dancers. When Kofi and R-Truth ran out to help (those sons of bitches, where were they when Show needed their help? Again, Show is validated) he doesn’t just beat them up … he beats them up with MALICE, Mark Henrying Kofi through part of the security railing and killing Truth dead by throwing him into the ropes and slingshotting him facedown into the concrete. Man, if only Truth had landed back-first, it would’ve hurt Show instead of him.
But yeah, how do I suddenly love The Big Show? He says what I’m thinking, he does what I want somebody to do, and he isn’t f**king around about it. I fully expect Cena to show up next week being all HEH AIN’T NO BIG DEAL WE GONNA HAVE A MATCH AND I WILL FIGHT YOU BUT WHO CARES and make Stiffler Face at him, but I hope it culminates in another punch to the face and lots of “stop acting like this or I’ll punch you every week” discussion.
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week
Lionel_Hutz
The cover of WWE 13 should’ve just been Otunga’s thermos
Harry Longabaugh
Brodus will now take time off to voice the Funkasaurus character in Land Before Time XXVII: Somebody Call My Magma
Ravishing Rick Ruse
“This announce table did nothing when I was on my knees, crying . . . NOTHING!” -Big Show
Alopezb5
LITTLE SHEAMUS LEGIT SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!
DefaultWrestler
Pants optional Predator
Harry Longabaugh
The ice cubes and the coffee weren’t getting along, so Teddy threw them together in a tag team match
RecSpec
I hear Miz has the score to beat in Pizza Hero.
esopillar34
I had to rewind it to make sure she didn’t ask for ICED coffee.
YOU DON’T ASSUME SOMEONE WANTS ICED COFFEE, TEDDY. YOU FAIL AT BEING AN ADORABLE JAPANESE MAID
brianjodoin
F**k you WWE, Big Show’s heel turn was like 2 weeks long and then you have turn again by knocking out Riley? Yea, a face/face No Way Out main event will be great
Cena Maeks Poopie
They plan on honoring the troops by two hours of everyone doing finishers on Randy Orton
Next week, gents and ladies.
