If I had to define and specifically choose one dream job for myself for the next 365 days of my life, I’d want to travel around the country, attending the most bizarre and ridiculous competitions. That is, of course, unless someone posts a Monster.com ad for “Kate Upton breast holder”, in which case I will take that, please.
Sure, I could cover the Super Bowl and World Series and that would be cool, because they’re super huge events, and all that jazz. But to be able to cover the U.S. Beard and Mustache or American Pole Dancing Championships would be so much more incredible, because who the hell are these people and where do they come from? I’m fascinated by the strange and extraordinary.
This week’s bucket list event comes in the form of the 2012 Old Timey Coney Island Strong Man Spectacular. Upon first glance, it looks like your ordinary hipster festival, but I feel like once you see a man pull a truck with his hair, you enter an entirely different realm.
(Original banner via Flickr/Steve Sobczuk)
This is strong man Steve Barry showing off his ability to hold an incredibly heavy object right above his orbital socket. Most people try to avoid that, but what’s the point in that, you p*ssies?
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“Hey, can anyone here bend this rebar? We don’t have any tools, so someone will have to use his face instead.”
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
This is Chris Rider pulling a truck with his own braided hair. I’m just a tad curious as to when this becomes a possibility in someone’s life.
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And here’s Rider portraying my feelings when I still find phonebooks on my doorstep in 2012.
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
I suppose if your name is Baron Von Geiger, you’re probably going to end up pulling trucks with your teeth.
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
I bet his dentist is wealthy.
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Here’s Brad Johnson – not the quarterback, silly – doing some pull-ups. Please, I came here to watch something challenging.
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
“So Brad, what are you up to after this?”
“I dunno, probably catching up on 50 Shades of Grey.”
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This is Cardone, the Master Escapist. He’s re-creating Harry Houdini’s classic milk tank escape trick. Why?
Because it’s an illusion, Michael.
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
Again, when does this become an ambition?
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
TA-DA?
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
Here’s tough guy Chris Schoeck bending a giant iron bar.
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That’s it, Chris? What is this, amateur hour?
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Here’s Steve Weiner mocking hernias.
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
Big deal, Steve. I lifted a whole stack of magazines yesterday.
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
This jerk is just a show-off.
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
“F*ck your frying pan.”
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
“Has anyone seen Stanley Pleskun? Oh, he’s getting run over by a giant truck by choice? Cool.”
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
Yeah, f*ck this.
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
And no strong man spectacular is complete without the freak sideshow, because what else are these weirdos gonna do?
(Via Flickr/Foto Filip)
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