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** Online Host **
Welcome to the San Francisco Giants Chatroom!
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TimTheEnchanter: /takes bong rip
/tries to use Disarm shout on Draugr Death Overlord but it doesn’t work, totally gives up and just lets Draugr Death Overlord kill him |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: so uh |
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TimTheEnchanter: /stuffs entire 99-cent bag of barbecue Fritos into mouth, bag included |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: you almost at a save point? We need you to win a baseball game with pitching |
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TimTheEnchanter: almost /saved literally five seconds ago and is just aimlessly trying to climb a mountain by walking left and jumping |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: come on, we’re playing the Astros tonight. I need you out there wearing a jacket and holding your hands in your pockets and kinda staring off into space the entire time I pitch |
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TimTheEnchanter: it’s the astros dude
it is literally the astros |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: The Astros are a team, too! |
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TimTheEnchanter: they are f**king not and you know it |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: what’s it gonna take for me to get you to put down the video games and Giant Up and get your shit together |
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TimTheEnchanter: we already won the world series why’re you on my ass |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: sigh
I’m gonna have to win the NL West by myself, aren’t I |
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TimTheEnchanter: whateve /Instagrams dungeon loading screen |
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** Online Host **
Later, in the June 13 San Francisco Giants vs. Houston Astros chatroom
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ThatsGottaBeCain: /takes deep breath |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: sigh
all right, Matt, this is it. The Dodgers are in first and June’s going by fast. If we’re gonna get back to the World Series, now’s the time to hoist ourselves up by the bootstraps and make it happen. |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: you’ve secretly been the best pitcher on the team for a while, and it’s all up to you. God, if you’re up there and listening, I need this to be the best performance of my life. The very best. |
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TheGreatIM: k |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: Let’s see who’s up first. |
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ElectricSchafer: yo |
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ElectricSchafer: yo mr. white, is that you?? |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: /throws strike |
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ElectricSchafer: /flushes weed |
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WheresWallace: Don’t worry, Jordan, we’ve got three periods left to play! |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: /throws strike |
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WheresWallace: /swings at ball with shoe |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: /throws strike |
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WheresWallace: /falls down
/keeps rolling backwards like a log until he falls into the dugout |
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BillAndTedsBogusevic: Hey guys! Sorry to interrupt. This is my first time ever playing baseball! I think we’re all gonna have a great time! |
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TheGreatIM: You probably didn’t need me for this. |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: /throws strike |
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BillAndTedsBogusevic: Say, what does THIS button do? |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: it’s a bat |
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BillAndTedsBogusevic: /strikes out miserably |
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LowrieSeasonedSalt: excuse me, is this where punch and pie is being served |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: this is a baseball game? |
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LowrieSeasonedSalt: i was led to believe there would be punch and pie
it’s the only reason i showed up |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: /throws three strikes |
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LowrieSeasonedSalt: hey do you know when the red sox are playing |
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LuxuryCruzRhiner: AAH HOLY SHIT WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HEAD AHHHH |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: AAHHHH |
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LuxuryCruzRhiner: AAAAH AAAAAAHHHH |
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TheGreatIM: AAAAHHHHH |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: /closes eyes, throws strikes |
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TimTheEnchanter: lol the f**k is up with your tiny head dude you look like you died in beetlejuice |
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TimTheEnchanter: like
like one of the goombas from the live action, uh
/wanders away |
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TheGuyFromAmericanIdol: Ozzie Guillen loves me! I can’t lose! CLEAR EYES STRONG HEARTS OR WHATEVER |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: /strikes him out |
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TheGuyFromAmericanIdol: fffffuuuuuuuuu |
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TheDevilInSnyder: /readies bat |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: I’m perfect so far. I’m totally jinxing myself, aren’t I? |
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TheGreatIM: technically jinxes shouldn’t exist, I’ve got this Book Of Life up here that has everything you’ve ever done or will do already written in it, so while you have free will, whether or not you use it is predetermined so really if he’s gonna hit the ball that’s just the way it has to be, and |
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TheGreatIM: nm just throw the ball |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: /just throws the ball |
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TheDevilInSnyder: /hits ball deep into the outfield |
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TheGreatIM: oh shi- |
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GotMelk: /finally has something to do |
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GotMelk: /makes leaping catch at the wall |
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TheGreatIM: You’re welcome. |
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GotMelk: heh, i like to see gregor blanco try to pull off some shit like that |
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ThatsGottaBeCain: whew, that was close
so hey listen, Tim, I think I owe you an apology. You were right. The Astros are the worst. Just play your game in peace and I’ll destroy everybody for the rest of the season. |
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TimTheEnchanter: what the f**k is the astros |
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