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** Online Host **
Welcome to the Washington Nationals Chatroom!
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SlowLerner: new plannnn |
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SlowLerner: it’s easier to empty nationals park than it is to fill it up so we’re gonna kill every remaining nats fan |
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: yee yee /brandishes burlap sack and a yardstick with bite-sized Snickers attached to it |
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SlowLerner: what’re you still doing in here, get out, git, GIT /squirts pesticide from old-timey sprayer |
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: nyahhh |
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SlowLerner: right, so, murder |
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StrasburgerSyndrome: How do you expect us to do that exactly? I already met my pitch limit and stabbing is basically the same motion |
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SlowLerner: no, nothing that messy |
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SlowLerner: we’re gonna come up with the grossest food ever and name it after you and sell it at ballparks and people’ll eat it and die because they’re f**king animals |
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TheBigRedDog: Like what? There is literally nothing to eat in D.C. |
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SlowLerner: like thisss! /
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SlowLerner: i present to you “the strasburger”, 8 pounds of ground brisket, chuck and short ribs with special sauce, pickle chips and to make it as gross as possible like nine dollars worth of american cheese |
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SlowLerner: american cheeeese |
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LifeIsWerthLosing: /vomits into glove |
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NeitherKnorr: What’s the special sauce? |
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SlowLerner: jim riggleman’s tears |
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StrasburgerSyndrome: “The Strasburger?” Do I really strike you as an 8-pound cheeseburger kind of guy? |
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SlowLerner: remembering that I don’t know anything about you, yes |
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SlowLerner: what would you suggest mr. “baseball player”, what would be more “steve strasburg” |
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StrasburgerSyndrome: I don’t know… a plate of hot wings? |
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StrasburgerSyndrome: wings that are super hot, and you break into the first one and it’s the most delicious wing you’ve ever tasted, but then you knock the plate into the floor and can’t have wings again for a year |
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SlowLerner: noted /doesn’t note it |
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LifeIsWerthLosing: I WANT SOMETHIN |
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SlowLerner: don’t you have enough, i gave you my last 20 grand so you could get lunch, stop asking me for food |
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LifeIsWerthLosing: no man, as the face of the franchise I thought I oughta have an item on the menu or something |
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SlowLerner: face of the |
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SlowLerner: actually that’s a great idea, hot dogs are made from animal refuse and make hundreds of millions of dollars, they’re perfect for you |
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TheBigRedDog: heh, what about me, Mr. Lerner? |
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SlowLerner: what about you, farnsworth, for the last time i’m not naming anything after you |
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TheBigRedDog: but but but but I’m not- |
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SlowLerner: sorry, getting bored, when i get bored i give money to adam dunn |
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SlowLerner: so if you have any further questions about those 15 dudes at nationals park who don’t own phillies hats and say woo when we play “thunderstruck” being gorged to their doom by our ham-product please ask now |
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SlowLerner: if not, enjoy me bringing back adam dunn and enjoy how rich he is |
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NeitherKnorr: What’ve you got for Xavier Nady? |
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SlowLerner: 10 gallons of rocky road ice cream in a waffle bucket, we’re calling it “cones disease” |
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NeitherKnorr: Anything for Mark DeRosa? |
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SlowLerner: fair traded-15-times coffee, goes great with cones disease (but for a limited time only) |
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LifeIsWerthLosing: Ryan Zimmerman? |
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SlowLerner: whatever the mets named after david wright, but worse |
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NeitherKnorr: Jesus Flores? |
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SlowLerner: a bunch of cracker pieces and grape juice we spilled on the floor |
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SlowLerner: (pretty proud of that one btw) |
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: meatry |
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SlowLerner: we dump a pound of sugar into the toilet, then hold the toilet over your head at an angle and you have to beer bong it |
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SlowLerner: also /releases the hounds |
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: pisssh since when you got dogs |
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Teddy: ARRARRARRARRARR |
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: ohmuhgerd /throws self through window |
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StrasburgerSyndrome: man, what happened, I was all excited about us, me and Bryce Harper showing up to make us the team of the future
turns out we’re just the f**king nationals |
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SlowLerner: the biggest bun in history with absolutely nothing inside |
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StrasburgerSyndrome: what? |
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SlowLerner: The Bryce Harper |
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: /rolls around in glass |
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