Jim Thome hit his 600th home run.
Everyone who has ever read the Dugout sent me a message saying “hey, can’t wait to read the Thome Dugout”. He’s been our signature character for over seven years now. ESPN stuttered saying “Jim” and I couldn’t tell whether or not they did it on purpose. Maybe this dumb baseball webcomic will be erased and forgotten in a hundred years, but I hope the big goofy rosey-cheeked manchild we spotlit along the way gets his big shiny face in the Baseball Hall Of Fame and is never forgotten.
Today’s Dugout follows.
The Dugout
| WordUpThome: /mashes tater | ||
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: /is busy unwrapping length of Fruit By The Foot in left field |
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| DudeYerGettinADelmon: oh shi- | ||
| **Online Host** WordUpThome has just hit his 600th career home run. |
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| WordUpThome: /completes shoopuf-esque trot around bases | ||
| WordUpThome: OH HEY GUYS WHO WANTS BEAR STYLE HUGS, COME AND GET SOME MICHAEL CUDDYER | ||
| CuddyerMak’er: lol ok /gets hugged | ||
| WordUpThome: AND I’M A-GONNA HUG YOU | ||
| O_Valencia: /gets hugged | ||
| WordUpThome: AND I’M A-GONNA HUG YOU | ||
| LawnMauer: /gets hugged | ||
| WordUpThome: YEAH, YEAHHHHHHHH HUGS IS AWESOME | ||
| WordUpThome: AND I’M A-GONNA HUG WAIT NO MATT YOU’RE MOVING TOO FASTLY | ||
| WhatErnieTolbert: /goes up for the high-five | ||
| WordUpThome: BOOM, HAND HUGGED | ||
| WordUpThome: Mom? | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: /stands in the dugout, clapping her hands | ||
| WordUpThome: MOM I THOUGHT YOU HAD PASSED IT AWAY, I FEEL LIKE A RIPE OL’ J-WORD FOR NOT CALLING YOU FOR FIVE YEARS | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: NO YOU’RE RIGHT JI | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: JIM, I AM CURRENTLY AN ANGEL | ||
| WordUpThome: YOU MEAN LIKE VERNING WELLS | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: NO, I MEAN LIKE NICK ADENHART | ||
| WordUpThome: OH | ||
| WordUpThome: oh. | ||
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WordUpThome: CAN MICHAEL CUDDYER SEE YOU HEY MICHAEL CUDDYER CAN YOU SEE MY MOTHER |
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| CuddyerMak’er: you mean like on a date? | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: NO NOBODY CAN SEE ME RIGHT NOW | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: TO THE PERSONS AROUND YOU I AM LIKE THE OAKLAND ATHLETICS | ||
| WordUpThome: /sheds manly tear | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: DON’T BE SAD JIMBO THIS IS A HAPPY OCCASION YOU JUST ROPED YOUR 600TH DINGER | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: WHEN I WAS AN ACTUAL LADY I GOT TO SIT UNDER A TREE AND WATCH FAT LITTLE JIM HIT BALLS FARTHER THAN ANYBODY ELSE | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: SOMETIMES WHEN YOU’RE PROUD ENOUGH OF SOMEBODY YOU GET TO COME DOWN AND WATCH OVER THEM | ||
| WordUpThome: ISN’T PRIDE A SIN | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: YEAH IT IS WEIRD | ||
| WordUpThome: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE HERE I THOUGHT PASSED FOLK STAYED UP IN HEAVEN AND SMILED DOWN, LIKE THE NOTORIOUS BIGGER SMALLS UPON THE RELEASE OF PUFF DIDDY’S HIT SINGLE "WE’LL BE MISSING YOU" | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: I’VE BEEN DOING THAT FOR A LONG TIME | ||
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LikeAMotherThome: YOU HAVE MANAGED TO STAY HAPPY AND FAT AND NICE IN A SAD AND SKINNY AND MEAN BUNCH OF PLACES IF YOU AREN’T SOMEBODY’S FAVORITE BASEBALL PLAYER THEY’RE DOING IT WRONG |
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| WordUpThome: YOU’RE JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE MY MO | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: DARN TOOTING | ||
| WordUpThome: MOM | ||
| WordUpThome: HEY WHILE YOU’RE HERE HAVE YOU EVER MET DELMON YOUNG, HE GOT TRADED BUT HE’S STILL HERE | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: YES HE HAS DIED MANY TIMES | ||
| WordUpThome: OKAY BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO INTRODUCE YOU | ||
| WordUpThome: … | ||
| WordUpThome: I’M GONNA COME OVER THERE AND HUG THE HECK OUT OF YOU RIGHT NOW | ||
| LikeAMotherThome: ARE YOU SURE, NOBODY’S GONNA SEE IT | ||
| WordUpThome: YEAH THEY WILL | ||
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**Online Host** **Online Host** |
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| WordUpThome: /hugs nothing | ||
| **Online Host** WhatsUpChuck has entered the chatroom. |
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| WhatsUpChuck: HEY SON IT’S YOUR FAT | ||
| WhatsUpChuck: FATHER CHUCK THOME | ||
| WordUpThome: HEY DAD IT’S JI | ||
| WordUpThome: JIM THOME | ||
| WhatsUpChuck: I JUST SAW YOU HIT YOUR 600TH POTATER AND WANTED TO HUG THE MESS OUT OF YOU | ||
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WordUpThome: HEY DAD AFTER THE GAME YOU WANNA, I DON’T KNOW MAYBE GO SHOOT SOME DEERS WITH GUNS AND THEN HOLD UP THEIR HEADS SO IT LOOKS LIKE THEY’RE LOOKING AT THE CAMERAS |
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| WhatsUpChuck: THAT WOULD MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON ON THE WORLD | ||
| **Online Host** WhatsUpChuck has left the chatroom. |
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| WordUpThome: SIGHING SOUND | ||
| WordUpThome: /gets ready for life with 600 home runs | ||
| DudeYerGettinADelmon: ay jim who dat qvc lookin lady you was huggin | ||
| WordUpThome: THAT WAS NO QUALITY VALUE CONVENIENCE LADY DELMON YOUNG THAT WAS MY MOM | ||
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: oh you mean the one that died |
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| WordUpThome: YES | ||
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: o aight ay look tell her if i get to heaven again an she aint got no manna imma choke her ass |
