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** Online Host **
Welcome to the Taco Bell Commercial Shoot Chatroom!
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XXLChalupa: /is disgusting as f**k |
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Director: So, Brian, in this commercial the XXL Chalupa is SO BIG |
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SMiLE: …you need a closer to finish it. FACT, NEW IDEA |
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SMiLE: imagine this, I’M BLACK OPS, I’m gonna sneak up and finish these chalupas /does the robot to simulate "sneaking" |
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SMiLE: where I show up, nobody knows
CAUSE I’M BLACK OWPS!!!
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Director: what, no |
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SMiLE: THESE MONSTERS ARE STACKED
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Director: why are you screaming at me |
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SMiLE: I need to call my inner deliciousness, hello? /pulls gigantic Zack Morris phone from burlap sack labeled "pay attention to me" |
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SMiLE: That double XL chalupa… never happened. |
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Director: uh, all right, that’s an idea |
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Director: only issues I have are
1. you’re a baseball player, and we put you in this cheap ass taco bell commercial because you’re a recognizable baseball star, not a black ops guy
2. why would you call your inner deliciousness to handle the problem when the deliciousness of the XXL Chalupa is what we’re trying to get over, and
3. are you feeling well
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SMiLE: okay, new idea, PICTURE IT, FACT |
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SMiLE: I’m the great Captain Moby Dick, and I’m sailing the seven seas in search of THOSE XXL Chalupaz /does the running man to pantomime "sailing" |
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Director: what |
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XXLChalupa: what |
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SMiLE: only, FACT, the XXL Chalupa is at Taco Bell, but Taco Bell is no longer a restaurant, now it is Literally a FLIPPIN WHALE |
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SMiLE: but not just any whale, oh no, this is a UNICORN WHALE, which is a normal whale but with a spike stickin out of his FACE like my BEARD but up TOP |
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Director: so like a narwhal |
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SMiLE: like a GNARLY WHAL |
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XXLChalupa: ugh if anybody needs me I’m going to be congealing in this box |
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SMiLE: so I go down into the BOWELS which means BUTTHOLE of my ship and I say excuse me, ship? Or should I say, DELICIOUS-SHIP |
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SMiLE: starwipe to 10 years later and that Gnarly Whal is mounted on my gnarly wall and I’m married to AND OR buttf**king the XXL Chalupa |
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SMiLE: got heem |
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Director: okay, what |
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Director: look, why don’t we have the extra hold his stomach and look at the Chalupa confused, then you come in and say "I’m finishing this for you, like in baseball" and we list the ingredients and we’re done 20 seconds from now |
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Director: why don’t we do that, okay |
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XXLChalupa: yeah that sounds good to me too, I’m extremely large |
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SMiLE: better idea, Taco Bell is delivering ingredients via TACO BELL AIRPLANE, I hijack that bad mamma jamma with The Machine and fly it into the ground |
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Director: what |
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XXLChalupa: holy shit what is happening |
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SMiLE: starwipe to HEAVEN, I’m greeted by 40 virgins, all played by me in a wig in a dual role, they pleasure me by touching my RIGHTEOUS BEARD, which also electrocutes them |
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SMiLE: enter: GOD, also played by me in a trual role, and he’s the BROSKI who can make 40 different menu items out of the same 7 ingredients |
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SMiLE: but here’s the cinnamon twist |
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Director: oh god |
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SMiLE: FACT I’m really BLACK OWPS!!! And I hijacked that plane to GET to Heaven to SNEAK UP ON OUR LORD |
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Director: to steal his chalupa |
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SMiLE: but it’s a CRISIS OF FAITH, so I call up my pastor, REVEREND DELICOUSNESS and I ask him- |
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Director: hold on, new plan |
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Director: stand still for 20 seconds, we’re gonna film you looking forward and Clutch Cargo your lips to make you say "Taco Bell food is good, eat it" |
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Director: I send it off to my editor and then immolate myself for having been put in this position |
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SMiLE: hold on a TICK TACK, my beard is "bro"-ing me something |
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SMiLE: what’s that?? you want NINJAS? oh silly billy why would CHINESE people be in a MEXICAN restaurant?? You’re a beard, you can’t talk!!! |
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SMiLE: /wanders off |
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Director: jesus christ |
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XXLChalupa: sorry about that, just get somebody to paste his head on Mariano Rivera from the last commercial, it’ll be fine |
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Director: yeah I’ll probly do that |
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Director: wait, how are you talking? |
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XXLChalupa: f**k if I know, I’m not even dead, forty minutes ago I was a horse, somebody wrapped me in a floor rug and put me on television |
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