Last Friday, we introduced you to a new concept in “feeling bad for being a wrestling fan” — the 1st Annual With Leather Bad Wrestling Theme Lyrics March Madness tournament, a 32-seed throwdown between the worst sets of words jammed into a wrestler themes. If you’re like, “I didn’t know wrestling theme songs HAD lyrics,” be warned … they can get pretty bad.
The first 16 professionally-chosen entrants were announced, and the call went out to you, the fans, to pick the final 16. You suggested lyrics in the comments section of the first post, and while some of you decided to totally ignore the rules and post full songs, many of you made nominations and had your voices heard. What follows it the formal announcement of the Fan 16, who’ll start going head-to-head next week.
Check out the horrible, horrible songs included in the second half of the tournament and let us know how you think the seeding should go. What’s the worst of the second 16? Which lyrics don’t deserve to be in the tournament at all? YOU DECIDE!
(I mean, not right now, but eventually.)
1. AJ Styles – ‘I Am’
“When I fly, it’s not evil. It’s just like being Evil Knievel. I jump to the left and I roll to the right, because I try to win the belt every night!”
2. Funaki – ‘Kung Fu San’
“Fu Naki likes to, fish for croppie while he listens, to Pavarotti. Heard he tried to be, a rap disc jockey. Didn’t work out, moved to Abu Dhabi. Guess the rest is, histor-aty. But my memory, a little bit groggy.”
3. Matt Hardy – ‘Live For The Moment’
“I can slap a tornado. I can dry up a sea, yeah!”
4. Chyna – ‘Who I Am’
“Don’t treat me like a woman. Don’t treat me like a man. Don’t treat me like you know me. Treat me for just who and what I am.”
5. Jeff Jarrett – ‘My World’
“He ain’t dead, he ain’t The Rock. Don’t wanna hear your big mouth off.”
6. Billy Kidman – ‘You Can Run’
”Keep acting tough, it’s gonna get creepy. All of a sudden you startin’ to feel sleepy. But in these streets when you doze off you wake up with your clothes off. It’s a shame feeling so lost.”
7. Hillbilly Jim – ‘Don’t Go Messin’ With A Country Boy’
“When I was a little boy baby, I cut my teeth on a big ol’ tree. Mama filled my bottle from a moonshine still. My first meal was the bass he killed. Bass he killed, the bass he killed, my first meal was the bass he killed.”
8. Alex Riley – ‘Say It To My Face’
“Soon enough I’ll find you, in the dark behind you, I’ll be waiting.”
9. John Cena – ‘My Time Is Now’
“I got the whole block wishin’ they could run with my division but they gone fishin’ with no bait, kid your boy hold weight. I got my soul straight. I brush your mouth like Colgate.”
10. 2 Cold Scorpio – ‘2 Cold Scorpio’
“Who’s his opponent, he don’t care. Like the Gulf War, brother, he attacks from the air!”
11. Rob Conway – ‘Just Look At Me’
“Each time I stare into that mirror baby, I just have to realize, why they all take every star in Hollywood and throw them in the sea.”
12. Too Cool – “Turn It Up”
“Turn it up! Bangin’ it, bangin’ it, bangin’ it, Bangin’ it bangin’ it, bangin’ it. Ah, that was interesting.”
13. X-Factor – ‘What’chu Lookin’ It’
“I’ve got everything i ever wanted and I’ll never give that back. Oh I know you hate [X-Factor] but you ain’t gotta look at me like that I say you ain’t gotta look at me like that.”
14. Strike Force – ‘Girls In Cars’
“They pass you on the road with a smile and you have to look twice, and you wonder to yourself could a woman really look that nice. Mmmm, girls in cars, girls in cars … I love girls in cars, girls in cars.”
15. Heidenreich – ‘Dangerous Politics’
“Heiden, Heidenreich, Hei-den-reich. Heiden, Heidenreich, Hei-den-reich. Heiden-reich, Heiden-reich. Heiden, Heidenreich.”
16. The Rock – ‘Do You Smell It’
“The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says ‘know your damn role.’ Know your role. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says. The Rock says ‘know your damn role.'”
