This Is Exactly Why Science Was Developed

Senior Writer
09.27.11 3 Comments

In 2007, Englishman Marek Turowsk had a dream – he wanted to set the world land speed record for a couch. It’s a bold, silly dream, sure. But who are we to deny a man’s ambition? Within a year, Turowsk showed the world that dreams do come true, as he launched his couch with a rocket or engine or something like that inside of it to a mind-blowing speed of 148 km/h. My conversion may be off but I think that’s like 1,000 miles per hour.

Sadly, Australia’s Paul McKinnon said, “F*ck your couch” this week and shattered Turowsk’s record by driving his couch 163 km/h. That’s like light speed, I think. So why do you do this? Better yet, how do you do this?

“It’s the oddest vehicle we’ve ever built,” he said.

“With race cars, you can use the aerodynamic body kit … but with the couch, it was a matter of just doing what we could. We tried to break the airflow with the coffee table.”

(Via The Herald Sun)

As for that “Why?” question, the answer is pretty simple – money. The coffee table was presumably added because the coffee company Ice Break came up with the idea for McKinnon and his team to break this record so they could add a coffee table to their couch and call it cross-promotional. Whatever, a company could offer me a million dollars to swallow a condom full of scorpions and I’d probably check to make sure my camera was charged.

I just miss the days when America had competitive leisure furniture vehicles. Time to find your priorities, Obama.

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