This Terrifying New Soccer Mascot Will Forever Change Your Relationship With The Sun

06.22.15 4 years ago 6 Comments

Move aside, Pierre the Pelican. Your reign as most terrifying mascot on Earth has come to an end. A soccer team in Scotland created a monstrosity of a mascot that’s supposed to resemble the sun, but it does not. It does not at all. The sun is warm and friendly; it gives us life. This mascot more closely resembles the dark depth of space and the reminder that we’re incredibly small in this infinite universe.

The new mascot is part of a re-branding effort from the Scottish soccer club Patrick Thistle FC. It’s also a part of their effort to alienate every fan under the age of 12. Just look at that terrifying unibrow, those white eyes, and the atrocious teeth. The mascot’s face looks like it should be on a late night Adult Swim cartoon. May Patrick Thistle FC suffer losing season after losing season until this monster is off their sidelines.

(Barstool Sports)

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