Because this is the type of story too important for him to ignore, Tom Brady addressed the dildo that appeared on the field during the New England Patriots game against the Bills in Buffalo on Sunday. Because if anyone would have insight on objects on a field that don’t belong there, it’s Brady.
(That was a DeflateGate joke)
Brady talked about the wayward dildo (there’s even video of the dildo toss) during his appearance on the Boston morning sports talk radio show, Sully & Ya Boy. Oh, sorry. It was the Kirk & Callahan Show. Of course, Brady didn’t really say anything interesting other than confirming his eyes work.
“I did see it. Yes I did, I did see it,” Brady said. “I thought it was funny the ref didn’t want to pick it up. He was kicking it. Nobody wanted to reach down and grab it.
“That was very unusual. That was a first. Only in Buffalo. That was very unusual.”
Brady then raised a pertinent question.
“How did they get that in the stadium?” he said.
Getting in the stadium with a dildo is the easiest part of the equation. You put it in your pocket. That’s it. Unless it’s a metallic dildo (a great name for a Metallica cover band if you want it), it’s not going to set off any alarms. You’re asked to take out any metal objects at the entrance, then you get wanded. Maybe you put it in your underwear and if the security guy pats you there, you can say something like, “Yeah, huge, right? I get it from my grandfather.” Then you’re in.
The real question: Why isn’t every web site asking Rob Gronkowski about this? The dude scored his 69th career touchdown in a game with a dildo on the field. He probably hasn’t stopped laughing about it. Gronk will be 80 years old, sitting silently at his wife’s funeral listening to the priest when all of a sudden he’ll chuckle and go, “Remember that dildo in Buffalo?” That’s the content we deserve.
(WEEI)
