Major League Baseball players are famous for suffering some of the silliest off-field injuries in all of sports. My personal favorite is former Detroit Tigers flamethrower Joel Zumaya getting hurt because he could not stop playing Guitar Hero, but the history of the sport is littered with dudes picking up knocks in weird ways.
One such example appeared to have happened recently when Cleveland Indians pitcher Trevor Bauer was expected to miss two or three starts for an injury. The only thing is the “report” of why he was injured was a joke by Michael Baumann of The Ringer that said Bauer claimed he was being treated for CIA nanites.
Trevor Bauer says that the doctors' timeline for his return is based on outdated mainstream medicine and he's begun a course of blood transfusions and colloidal silver to rid his body of CIA nanites. He anticipates missing two starts, three tops.
— Michael Baumann (@MichaelBaumann) August 17, 2018
Now, this is an extremely silly tweet, especially because of, uh, Bauer’s takes on the liberal media slandering the President of the United States. Of course a deep state operation within the Central Intelligence Agency would want to take down a true patriot who just happens to pitch for the Cleveland Indians. In actuality, this is what happened to Bauer.
Roster move:
– RHP Trevor Bauer (right fibula stress fracture) placed on 10-day DL, retro to Aug. 12
– LHP Tyler Olson recalled from Triple-A#RallyTogether pic.twitter.com/OTAys8760Z— Cleveland Guardians (@CleGuardians) August 14, 2018
However, something funny happened: Both MLB Network and ESPN ran with the story that the CIA is out to get Bauer. For audio of the former, head on over to Deadspin, but here’s your photographic proof.
MLB Network falls for joke report that Trevor Bauer is treating himself for "CIA nanites" https://t.co/gw4zghSlXR pic.twitter.com/OXZmA65P2h
— Deadspin (@Deadspin) August 18, 2018
For anyone who thinks this is actually true, it’s not. Saw this on the crawl of espn. Couldn’t hear the audio so not sure how they’re presenting it but it is not true at all. @espn https://t.co/cwITJLrrxi
— Trevor Bauer (トレバー・バウアー) (@BauerOutage) August 18, 2018
This is a mistake, sure, but it’s also hilarious and ultimately a “no harm, no foul” thing. Besides, if the CIA was going to inject nanites into someone, I feel like (in my non-medical opinion) they’d almost certainly have to miss more than two or three starts.