War Machine Has Returned To Twitter, Is Now A Poet Who Is Into Nietzsche

If you’ve been waiting with bated breath for War Machine’s return to Twitter, today’s your lucky day.

The former MMA fighter has been quiet since his initial court appearance in Las Vegas, wherein he said he was “playing a character” when he brutally beat and tortured ex-girlfriend Christy Mack and ran from police. His newest character? PHILOSOPHER POET.

If that’s not enough to warrant a “the f*ck’s wrong with that guy” from you, perhaps his second tweet — an original poem about how Christy Mack ruined everything — should warrant a thousand. Again, this is a real thing he tweeted.

Roses are red
I found a man in our bed.
Than to discover this…
I’d rather be dead.

So hurt and confused
My heart has been abused.
Too beautiful our plans
To not be used.

How could you forget
And carry on with no regret?
You’re a stranger now…
You sold your soul I bet.

Publicity, money, fame
Is this all just a game?
It was you who I loved ya know…
Not just a name.

Yes, I’m that bored. Hope you enjoyed the attempt at levity (at my expense) in the first 2 lines…FML.


If you’re wondering how Mack could “carry on with no regret,” feel free to read the police report of the incident, in which War Machine says things like, “that’s my pussy and I’m going to take it back now,” while he cuts off her hair and attempts to rape and murder her.

Here’s my poem to War Machine:

Roses are red
shut the f*ck up and stop tweeting