Yesterday, in perhaps his most prolific artistic contribution to society, our forefather Matt Ufford introduced us to Philip Rivers with a mustache, and it might be the only thing on this planet that makes King Laserface even remotely endearing at this point. Seriously, I just dropped his ass in a fantasy league for a bye week tight end. I’ve been starting Carson Palmer over him, and I’m winning because of it, that’s how little Rivers is worth right now.
Yet here we are, Thursday Night Football only a few hours away and this is the juicy cow pie that the NFL is offering us – the San Diego Chargers vs. the Kansas City Chiefs. This is like the exact opposite of a Monday Night Football game. Hell, this is lower than Tuesday night MACtion.
Philip Rivers. Matt Cassel. It’s Thursday Night Football in America.
Thursday Night Football: Kansas City Chiefs at San Diego Chargers – 8:20 PM ET on NFL Network
Would it be possible to bring the Denver Broncos in to play both teams at the same time? That might make this game more fun. Then again, all the fun we ever need is right there on Rivers’ pouty kisser, so it might be nice to hope that Cassel leads the Chiefs to a win tonight so we can watch Rivers explode like this guy.
NBA: Oklahoma City Thunder at San Antonio Spurs – 9:30 PM ET on TNT
I’m pretty bummed that the Brooklyn Nets opener against the New York Knicks was delayed because of Hurricane Sandy, but I’m glad that all of our friends in New York are okay. Instead, we can watch the Thunder without James Harden, who scored 37 in his debut with the Houston Rockets last night, and since NBA fans have no concept of how long an 82-game season is, we can all point and laugh and act like that one game was any sort of accurate gauge as to whether or not Harden was worth $80 million.