The Week 9 Fantasy Football Support Group: Time To Take A Seat, Ray Rice

I had the No. 12 pick in my 12-team league’s standard snake draft this year, and while making my brief and never accurate list of guys I planned to target and draft in the first three rounds, I had Dez Bryant and Chris Johnson tabbed as my first two picks. I ended up with LeSean McCoy and Ray Rice, which was incredible to me – like Santa Claus knocked up my mom – because these are two borderline elite RBs and this league is a .5PR so I thought that I was guaranteed 30-40+ points per week with these guys alone.

Obviously, McCoy has been solid, with a few bad weeks but mostly strong performances. Rice, on the other hand, has been awful. I hate saying that because he’s been one of my favorite all-around athletes to watch since his days at Rutgers. Is he to blame for this season of suck? I don’t think so. My not-an-expert analysis would put the blame on Baltimore’s terrible offensive line, because Bernard Pierce looks awful, too. But does that solve our problem, fellow Rice owners? Nope.

Sadly, as much as I’d love to suggest benching Rice, unless you have a better option (fortunately, I grabbed Zac Stacy earlier this season) you really can’t. He’s that guy who will most likely blow up as soon as you give up on him, and then you’re not just the kid who pooped your pants in kindergarten, but also the guy who benched Rice. It’s a double-edged sword, this fickle bitch that is fantasy football.

You Probably Lost If You Played Against: Andre Johnson (40+ points, depending on your league’s scoring)

I did. I was up 40 when that game started. It was brutal. Like watching a deranged ex-girlfriend destroy my car.

You Also Probably Lost In Much More Humiliating Fashion If You Played Against: Nick Foles (59+ points)

Obviously, Peyton Manning’s 7 TD performance in Week 1 couldn’t be passed off as a fluke. If you lost to the person who started him, you couldn’t really complain, because you should always expect Manning to come out trying to throw for 600 yards and 10 TDs each week. But Foles? If you or someone you know played against someone who started Foles this week, it’s okay to seek counseling.