This Week In YouTube Commenter Outrage: Madison Rising’s Hard Rock National Anthem

On Saturday, the fans at Daytona International Speedway were treated to a very unique rendition of the National Anthem before the Nationwide Series DRIVE4COPD race from the self-proclaimed world’s most patriotic band, Madison Rising. The New Jersey group put a ridiculous hard rock spin on “The Star-Spangled Banner” and it was quickly panned by the Internet’s greatest oracles and opinion-havers as one of the worst in sports history. Hell, just looking at the confused faces of the drivers as they played it tells you everything you need to know about it.

But if you haven’t yet shouted, “ROCK! ON!” at your monitor while watching this performance, stop what you’re doing and view the video now, because it should soon be taught in elementary school history classes as the kind of thing that would have changed Francis Scott Key’s mind.

Two quick thoughts:

1) Where the hell were the spinning Roman candle displays and a guy dressed as a heavy metal Uncle Sam? I’m really disappointed in the lack of pageantry during this performance.
2) More importantly, what about the babes, Madison Rising? How are there no red, white and BEWBS putting on a show for the Daytona faithful? Do the girls handing out free cans of Skoal have to provide all of the sexy entertainment?

But I’m not the only one with questions, comments and concerns, so once again, I cede my remaining time to the brilliant minds of the YouTube comments section to allow them to point out everything that is wrong with this National Anthem performance.

Here’s the thing – I think this is a joke, but I can’t tell anymore. The Internet has broken my bullshit and sarcasm detector. Great job, Internet.

As a Floridian, I take offense to this. Being a “redneck” doesn’t necessarily mean that I listen to country music. I know a lot of really big rednecks who listen to classic and hard rock more than country. I also know a lot of white trash that prefers country to hard rock and vice versa. We can’t avoid offending people with stereotypes if we’re not willing to understand them.

Holding the flag while performing is for marching bands and Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

Best hyperbole in a YouTube comment ever. Remarkable.

I just wanted to lump a few of the redundant ideas in together for the sake of saving time. Most of the people complaining didn’t really provide a thoughtful explanation of why they hated this rendition, as much as they just wanted to spin in circles while shouting and throwing feces at other people.

Hey, get the hell out of here with your history lesson baloney! If I wanted to learn stuff about America, I’d watch the History Channel. This is about the best song ever written by man, period, and I’m not gonna sit here and let people argue about whether or not we won a war. We win all wars, damn it.

Finally, this guy gets it. And he’s not alone, because a lot of people actually love this version of the National Anthem.

I’m worried that Eric Martin Smith might freak out if someone played actual heavy metal music for him.

Everyone knows that real rock and roll is Seether and POD. Everything else is just pop music malarkey.

Actually, I agree with this point, except for the fact that we already make fun of those renditions. In fact, we make fun of every rendition. Short of Kelly Clarkson and Mary J. Blige, I can’t remember the last time I didn’t see a “Star-Spangled Banner” performance escape the Internet anus of cynicism unharmed. But the only solution to this neverending cycle, obviously, is to have Madison Rising perform the National Anthem at every major sporting event for the rest of eternity. If not for our children, then at least for America and the future of rock and roll.