When Are We Going To Learn, Fellas?

Senior Writer
01.03.12 11 Comments

"Will you do me the honor of humiliating me?"

This young NCAA men’s basketball season hasn’t been too kind to the 7-7 UCLA Bruins, who return to action this Thursday against Arizona, but it has apparently been even worse to some UCLA fans. At the Bruins’ Dec. 23 game against Richmond, as the dreaded Mistletoe camera made its rounds, one male fan decided that it was the most opportune time to pop the big question. And then millions of men and women everywhere slapped their faces in complete disbelief.

First thing’s first, I know I’m a little late on this, but the video just found its way to the series of tubes that is the Internet, so this is new to most of us.

Secondly, is it fake? Apparently not. Baxter Holmes, who has possibly the best name for a reporter, of the Los Angeles Times was at the game and witnessed it go down live. He spoke to UCLA officials to find out if this was yet another college sports viral effort and they denied it all, which means that one of two things happened:

1) The couple decided to play a little joke on their fellow UCLA fans, and in the end they were all like, “LOL bro.”

B) This is real, and she really crushed this guy’s heart right before Christmas. And if it is real, I don’t feel bad for him at all. Men need to stop living with this foolish idea that girls would ever think a jumbotron proposal is romantic. Unless the girl has a penis, it’s relationship suicide, and this guy probably knows that all too well as he remains in a padded room after his friends hit him with the Baker Act. Tough tits, bro. Next time think it through.

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