When Tributes To LeBron James Go Wrong

Senior Writer

Last week, a group of students from California’s Woodcreek High School decided it would be a totally radical and boss idea to pay tribute to Miami Heat superstar LeBron James before their team’s big game against rival Roseville High. The tribute in question was James’ pregame ritual of tossing baby powder into the air, and that’s a fun ritual for James because he is one person tossing one little handful of powder.

You see, when a large group of people chooses to toss many handfuls of powder into the air, bad things can happen. For instance, people who are not expecting a large cloud of white powder to envelope them in a confined space could freak the f*ck out and start a human stampede that results in hundreds of terrified people trampling each other.

Fortunately, the result of this stupid tribute was just good, old-fashioned schadenfreude.

The fans in question, known as the “Black Mob”, not only caused a delay in the start of the game, as high school personnel had to mop up all of the baby powder that accumulated on the court, but they also caused multiple delays during the game because players were slipping on powder residue. Ultimately, the referees had to announce at halftime that the gym floor was no longer suitable for play, and they moved the game to Roseville’s court.

Roseville ended up winning the game 87-71 and moved to 4-3 in league play with the playoffs approaching, while Woodcreek dropped to 3-4. Ultimately, the Woodcreek students may have screwed their team out of a playoff shot, and if that is the case, they will undoubtedly feel very stupid until they do something equally stupid the following week and forget all about it.

If I may, though, I’d like to offer the Black Mob a few suggestions about safer, cleaner LeBron James tributes they can pull off:

  • Wear matching headbands
  • Be very good at basketball
  • Host their own one-hour shows on ESPN to announce where they’ll go to college
  • Shave their hairlines back an inch every year for the next four years
  • Sign multi-million dollar endorsement deals for stupid products that people don’t need
  • Befriend Chris Bosh
  • Follow Lil Wayne to different places and have him removed by security

The options are endless.

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