This news is (not) the WOOOOOOOORST. Don’t stop now, Ken Tremendous, continue with your casting revelations. After the jump, we have suggestions for who should play two of Parks‘ occasionally mentioned, but never seen characters, as well as other similar ideas from eight different shows. This is for you, Bob Sacamano.
1. Ron Swanson’s brothers (Parks and Recreation)
In the second season episode “Hunting Trip,” Ron reveals to Leslie that he has two brothers, one whom is in the Air Force. Like any Turf ‘N’ Turf-gorging American, the Swanson boys watch the Super Bowl together, but that’s all we know about them. They’re never mentioned again onscreen, but Nick Offerman has discussed them off-screen: he wants Zach Galifianakis to play his sibling, Don, which, yes. As for the other one, two words: Stan. Rizzo.
2. Schmidt’s mother (New Girl)
That was a wildly inappropriate GIF to use for this selection. Anyway, through New Girl‘s first two seasons, we’ve met Nick and Jessica’s parents, but the same can’t be said for Winston and Schmidt. It’s not surprising that the background of the former hasn’t been filled in (the guy he replaced is returning, after all), but it’s a little shocking we haven’t met Mama and Papa Schmidt yet. Like everyone on New Girl, Schmidt has daddy issues: he left the family when Schmidt was young, while his mom could be described as “Jewish.” Get Laraine Newman ASAP.
3. Mace Tyrell (Game of Thrones)
Rumor has it the Lord of Highgarden and father of sideways-smiler Margaery will be played by Sherlock‘s Mark Gatiss, who, if it can’t be guest star superstar Donal Logue, is just about the second best option.
4. Lorna Morello’s husband (Orange Is the New Black)
One of the best decisions Orange is the New Black creator Jenji Kohan made was giving the non-Piper inmates their own flashbacks. Every episode, we learned a little more about the people our POV protagonist would be spending the next 15 months with. A personal favorite of mine was Lorna, whose entire knowledge of Hispanic culture is based on West Side Story and whose accent I want to hear in my dreams for months. She has an oft-mentioned, never seen (even to her, after her first three months in prison) fiancee named Christopher, who likely has moved on, but I still want to know a little more about why Lorna’s where she is. Another option: the Warden.