Earlier this week we got our first glimpse of what FXX’s new Simpsons archive/website/streaming service Simpsons World will feature, as well as an accurate portrayal of the dystopian nightmare our society will promptly devolve into once it launches. I mean, every episode of The Simpsons, right there at your fingertips, on your laptop or tablet or phone. No more DVDs, no more praying your local Fox affiliate decides to run one from Season 6 at 5:00 PM, none of it. All of them. Like magic.
The whole thing got us thinking about the show and its long, long history, and how so many little moments have stuck with us years — even decades — after we first saw them. They run the gamut, too, from dumb-funny to smart-funny to downright sweet. Hell, I just watched the “Do it for her” clip a second ago, and it made me get all misty-eyed all over again. The show has incredible range, which makes this week’s conversation topic damn near impossible: Of all of the memorable moments over the 500+ episodes of The Simpsons, what is your personal favorite?
I put this one out to some of the UPROXX family earlier this week. Their answers are below. As for me, it’s gotta be the moment in “Homer the Heretic” when Homer kicks back on a couch surrounded by empty beer cans and nudie magazines, lights up a cigar, and announces “Everyone is stupid except me” moments before falling asleep and accidentally lighting his house on fire when said cigar falls onto said nudie magazines. There’s a lesson to be learned here, you know? That lesson: Start selling fire-retardant magazines. YOU’LL BE RICH.
Vince Mancini:
Probably my favorite Simpsons moment (or at least the first one that comes to mind since there are at least 100) is in Treehouse of Horrors V where Homer has a toaster that keeps sending him back in time. He’s been advised not to touch anything, but he keeps making one small mistake that has dire consequences for the future. Finally he gets fed up and shouts “Don’t touch anything?! I’ll touch whatever I feel like!” and just goes nuts punching giant bugs, smashing plants, and stomping on a lizard. Of all the brilliant one-liners the Simpsons had (LISA: “Do you have anything that wasn’t brutally slaughtered?” HOMER: “I think the veal might’ve dead of loneliness.”), it’s still the image of Homer stomping on a lizard and clubbing a giant mosquito to death that gets me.
Kris Maske:
My own favorite anything about The Simpsons is a revolving door of quotes and references based on mood, time of day, and recent encounters with humanity. But if I have to go with one I’ll base it on quantity, and the sheer number of times I’ve used “Don’t you hate pants?!” in my lifetime makes it the winner. Also, Josh didn’t use it in his everyday conversation list despite it being the most versatile Simpsons quote of all time. Clearly he loves pants. We are no longer friends.
Ashley Burns
Like most people, I could have any number of scenes/quotes/gags/etc. because it’s the f*cking Simpsons, man. And given that I share the same last name as the most evil and therefore awesome man in Springfield, not a birthday goes by that I don’t credit my long life to Satan or let my dog into the backyard by saying, “Release the hound.” But from a pure fan perspective, I don’t think I’ve ever loved a scene more than the Bort nametag bit in the “Itchy & Scratchy Land” episode from Season 6. I like to think that 500 years from now, when the vampire alien species of Fartulax-69 has cornered the last of the human race in a bunker in what used to be Topeka, a woman will shout her son’s name as he’s being dragged to his death, and an alien will respond, “Were you talking to me?” and she’ll say, “No, my son’s name is also Bort” and they’ll all laugh as his life is sucked from his veins.
Josh Kurp:
DENTAL PLAN.
LISA NEEDS BRACES.
DENTAL PLAN.
LISA NEEDS BRACES.
DENTAL PLAN.
LISA NEEDS BRACES.
DENTAL PLAN.
LISA NEEDS BRACES.
DENTAL PLAN.
LISA NEEDS BRACES.
DENTAL PLAN.
LISA NEEDS BRACES.
Stacey Ritzen:
One of my favorite episodes of The Simpsons has always been “King Size Homer,” where Homer devises the perfect scheme to eat himself clinically obese so he can qualify as disabled and work from home. Soon Homer is living the dream but after he uses a drinking bird to do his work for him (basically, my technique at UPROXX) he triggers a potential nuclear meltdown. In an attempt to phone for help, he gets this automated response: “The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.”
And that’s one of my favorite Simpsons moments ever.
Brandon Stroud:
Before “random = lol” became the only kind of comedy an animated show could do, Bart vs. the street sweeper was my favorite Simpsons moment.
Bart’s sold his soul to Milhouse for five bucks and his life’s going to hell. He’s trying to bike over to Milhouse’s grandmother’s house when he almost gets run down by a street sweeper. The sweeper sweeps up his bike and spits it out perfectly fine. Glistening. He remarks about his good luck, pedals a little and the bike explodes and falls apart. The guy in the street sweeper turns back to laugh maniacally and accidentally drives into a subway station.
It’s so f*cking absurd. Why is this weird street sweeping dude driving around gobbling up bikes in the middle of the night and letting children hold on to hope before they’re crushed? Since when has Springfield has subway stations? WHY IS HE LEANING OUT THROUGH THE PASSENGER-SIDE WINDOW. It’s one of those Simpsons moments that I forget is coming, then laugh my ass off when it hits. Those are the best.
Your favorite moments/quotes/scenes/whatever below. There are (almost) no wrong answers here, so have at it.
