TV

6 ‘Workaholics’ Conversations You Thought Way Too Deeply About

After four seasons on the air Workaholics has featured countless gloriously weird conversations between Adam, Blake, and Ders, not to mention one new equally gloriously NC-17 action movie trailer packed with boobs, money, blood, boobs, violence, boobs, improvised Road Warrior-esque vehicles, and boobs.

Just like they’ve captured exactly how you’d want your life to play out as depicted by Hollywood, many of their conversations are probably things you’ve debated with your friends in real life. These six Workaholics discussions in particular are ones that you have probably had with your cube-mate, who is also your roommate, who also might have somehow successfully had relations with your boss and a high-powered firearm:

1. How Much Money Would It Take For You To Blow A Guy?

In the season one finale, the gang has one of their most memorable arguments, in which they debate how much money it would take for them to blow a guy. Does hotness come into play? Who gets final dick approval? And would Adam really do it for $900?

2. What’s Your Dream Threesome?

Sure, there’s Marry/Bang/Kill, but let’s face it, most of us only dream of a threesome. And Blake has a point, in that it’s way more fun to watch hot famous people do it than it is to imagine yourself trying to keep up with hot famous people in bed.

3. What TV Show/Movie Best Represented Your Night?

Well, it’s an important question: Is your night more of a Die Hard or more of a Big City Hustlas? And what exactly goes into a night that feels like Bebe’s Kids?

4. How Far Would You Go To Pass a Drug Test?

The guys go to extreme lengths to avoid failing a drug test after smoking pot the night before. So, how far would you go to avoid getting fired on drug test day? Would you try to bribe a kid on a playground for clean urine like these guys did? Would you sabotage it by making everyone test positive? The second option certainly sounds like a much better idea.

5. Have You Lost Touch With Your Manliness?

In season 2, Adam cries after an encounter with a bully, which makes the guys wonder if they’ve lost touch with their manliness. So, they decide to go on a “man trip,” which… does not end well.

Still, for those of you stuck working in a cubicle all day, it does raise the question: Has the 9-to-5 lifestyle left you out of touch with your masculinity? Heck, in a world where fighting bears is just a hobby you can choose instead of a requirement to keep breathing, what does masculinity even mean?

6. Dad Dicks

Really, if you can’t discuss the size of your father’s denim monster with friends, what can you discuss?

There are many more strange discussions coming up with the new season of Workaholics, and you can catch them all Wednesdays at 10/9c on Comedy Central. But until then, enjoy the action movie trailer, and discuss it with your coworkers. Maybe show it to your coworkers, if your workplace has an unusually lenient Internet filter! Just don’t blame us if you wind up at the Rancho Cucamonga branch.

×