I know through experience that I can go an entire day speaking only in Simpsons references (and what a prom it was), but I’m pretty sure I could do the same with Mitch Hedberg quotes. He’s one of the greatest comedians of all-time, and who doesn’t love it when Comedy Central Presents bits are mangled and paraphrased by people who aren’t one of the greatest comedians of all-time? It’s better to know the exact thing you’re reciting, like this attentive Freshest Donut Pros employee, who was “given the ability to control what gets printed on the receipts at the doughnut shop where I work.”
Here’s the first thing the Hedhead did.
Sure beats some bullsh*t about peace from Gandhi.