Dana Lazaro Is Still The Worst: What We Learned From This Week’s ‘Homeland’

I hate the way that Homeland suffers from the Dexter problem of feeling compelled to reiterate everything we already know. When last week’s episod ended, we knew that Carrie was in Javati’s custody, and that Saul and his people had lost her. The first five-and-a-half minutes of this week’s episode — including the previously on, scenes — essentially repeated everything we already knew, and it led up to a lie detector test that wasn’t particularly necessary to the storyline, either. Carrie failed it, but Carrie didn’t give a sh*t anyway, because all she wanted to do was lure Javati out, and let him know that Saul would like a word with him.

Why doesn’t Javati just kill Carrie and run? Because Saul knows that Javati has been using a goalkeeper to embezzle money, which is a betrayal of Iran, and being second in command of Iran’s intelligence directorate, that would make him an ENEMY OF THE STATE.

After Carrie threatens to expose Javati, he agrees to meet with Saul. I mean, kind of. He’s just gotta make one little stop first.

But before we get there, Saul finally has a conversation with his wife about the man she is sleeping with. Her argument was basically this:

She’s smitten with her Mumbai lover, and Saul doesn’t seem to give a sh*t. He’s not angry because he doesn’t have a claim on her. Also, as much as I love Saul, unless his wife’s lover is secretly a spy charged with murdering Dana, I do not give two sh*t about this side-plot.

In an exchange between Saul and Fara Sherazi, we do learn some valuable information about Javati. He and Saul were once friends, both working in intelligence. After the Iranian revolution in 1979, Javati was supposed to help Saul get four people out of the country. Instead, Javati killed the four people, which was his ticket into the new Iranian regime. Saul got his revenge, though: He helped Javati’s wife and son escape to the West four months later.

In the meantime, in between the time that she met with Javati and the scheduled meet-up, Carrie goes home and takes another pregnancy test. It’s positive, JUST LIKE THE OTHER 30 PREGNANCY TESTS SHE’S TAKEN.

Ugh. Why is it necessary to throw a pregnancy — and thus, a relationship complication — into an espionage thriller? That’s annoying. The question is, whose is it? Is it the stair case bang?

Or is Brody the baby daddy? Considering it’s March now, and the bombing was on 12/12, if it is Brody’s, then Carrie is four months pregnant. Of course, that doesn’t make any damn sense because of all the drugs she’s been taking, and also, there’s no way a pregnancy would’ve escaped the attention of the medical folks at the mental institution, who assuredly did blood work on several occasions. So, either it’s Liquor Store Bang’s baby, or Homeland has thrown another huge plot hole into the works.

Meanwhile, Dar Adal met with Senator Lockhart, who is expected to take over the CIA in 12 days. Lockhart wants changes, and those changes mean getting rid of people like Carrie Mathison. Dar Adal is totally on board, too, because Dar Adal will play any side of the fence that will result in his advancement. The two kiss each other’s asses until you can see bedsores. But Adal doesn’t let on to Saul that he and Lockart are like two bullets in a chamber, and why should he? Saul doesn’t trust Dar Adal, and Dar Adal doesn’t trust Saul. Basically, this is Dar Adal and Saul at the CIA corporate retreat.

Before we get to the good part, let’s just get the Dana part out of the way: Dana changed her last name to Lazaro. It’ll take 3-6 weeks to become official, and cost $41. The clerk even threw in a prayer for free. Dana then decided to move in with her friend, Angela, telling her mother: “I can’t live this life anymore. It nearly killed me. I gotta leave.” Mom gave her a credit card with $300 on it and wishes her well. The end.


Wait! Quick? Where’s Brody?

And now we can talk about the good part of the episode.

Javati didn’t go to the planned meet, after all. He had something else in mind, namely tracking down his son’s wife, putting a bullet in her head, and then taking a broken bottle to his ex-wife’s neck. Swell guy, that Javati.

Now we understand whose house Javati was surveilling last week.

What we DON’T understand, however, is how a guy who got so bent out of shape because he got mustard on his shirt last week is so indifferent to the fact that his shirt is DRENCHED in blood this week.

Here’s what I loved about this scene with Saul: He didn’t punch Javati. He used the f**king palm strike.

Burt Reynolds approves.