Charlie Sheen Is Allegedly Planning A Return To ‘Two And A Half Men’ Because He ‘Owes It To The Fans’

Attention! Attention! The threat level of Charlie Sheen returning to Two and a Half Men has just been upgraded to orange. It originally rose to yellow last May when Sheen told cameras that he was open to returning to the sitcom which is entering its final season. But now, if an interview with Ryan Seacrest yesterday is to be believed, not only is Sheen open but his former bosses at CBS are welcoming him back with arms wide open.

“The first plan was just to get past all the crap that went on in the past and move forward,” he explains. “I actually came up with the idea. I said, ‘Let’s bury the hatchet, but let’s also put a bookend on this thing.’ I think I owe it to the fans. I owe it to myself. There’s an aspect of closure involved. I think it will be a a nice send-off. I have one idea, they have a couple others. We will get together soon and figure it out how that makes sense. But not just to honor what I did, but to honor what they did after I left. I think that’s important, too.”

Before fans of happy endings and mediocrity get too excited, keep in mind that these are the words of Charlie Sheen and — lest we forget — Chuck Lorre specifically had his character annihilated by a speeding locomotive to completely and irrevocably make the point that he was dead beyond the point of any return. Then again, counterpoint: If Charlie Sheen would return it would be a ratings juggernaut and I’ve included this helpful pictorial to remind you all of CBS’s business model:

I would expect the official CBS announcement any day now.

(Ryan Seacrest via The Wrap)