He could be cordial, arrogant, welcoming, and critical, often over the course of the same business meeting, but Don Draper (Jon Hamm) knew how to impress. As the charismatic ad executive and central character on AMC’s Mad Men, Don’s sales pitches to his clients (and sometimes co-workers) were like carefully orated works of art. While most people would only see a product, Don would see an emotion, an impulse, or a profound new way to look at the world. To celebrate fiction’s most convincing ad man, here’s a ranking of the sales pitches that made the biggest impact.
7. “She’s unique. She makes the choices and she’s chosen him.”
This is quintessential Don Draper: selling the feeling of self, but disguising it as a simple cosmetics ad. Not everyone is impressed at first. When the Belle Jolie executives start to question the proposed advertisements, Don stands up, extends his hand, and thanks them for their time. Sure, he gives an impassioned monologue about the necessity of choice regarding everyone’s own take on individuality, but it’s his gruff, demeaning confidence that really sells them on Don’s campaign, and on Draper himself.
6. “We’re going to sit at our desks and keep typing while the walls fall down around us because we’re creative – the least important, most important thing there is.”
During the show’s fourth season, the firm that Don had co-founded was off to a rocky start, and staff-wide layoffs had become necessary to stay afloat, with bankruptcy looking like a possibility. With all this happening, ad copywriter Peggy Olson (Elisabeth Moss) visits Don’s office, parroting his own words of advice in the hopes that it would inspire one of his grandiose ideas and save Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. Instead, she gets Don admitting defeat, at least in the short-term. He tells her there’s no changing the conversation when what everyone has been saying is true. When she asks what to do, Don tells her simply to do her job. It’s basically Don’s own version of “Keep Calm, Carry On,” but with the added commentary on the importance of a creative person in the world of advertising.
5. “Nostalgia. It’s delicate but potent.”
The pitch that closed down the show’s first season saw Don tasked with trying to come up with a way to sell Kodak’s new rotating photo projector, which they’d tentatively named “The Wheel.” The pitch starts with Don musing over the allure of new technology before he begins to explain the meaning of nostalgia, and how its actual definition — the pain from an old wound — impacts the word as they know it. He talks about the ache of sentiment, and the longing to go back to another time while he clicks through slide after slide of his personal family photos. Through it all, he seems to be baring his very soul, as he slowly reveals to Kodak that they’ve invented something that lets people travel back in time and relive their past over and over again. Or, as Don so eloquently calls it, the Carousel.
4. “You’ll tell them the next thing will be better because it always is.”
Here we have an example of Don’s ability to sell anything to anyone, even a worst-case scenario. After he finds out that his business partner, Lane Pryce (Jared Harris), forged his signature on a check for a 13-day loan, Don asks him to resign. Lane nearly breaks down into tears while he begs Don to reconsider. Don, who keeps his own unique stern, yet comforting demeanor, simply assures him that there are always better things on the horizon, even going so far as to tell Lane his lightheadedness is simply relief, and that the worst part was nearly over. None of this proved to be the case, but in that moment, Don sold it so earnestly that you couldn’t help but believe him.
3. “You are the product. You feeling something. That’s what sells. Not them. Not sex. They can’t do what we do and they hate us for it.”
After being tasked with creating ad copy for the company’s newest client, Mohawk Airlines, Peggy shows Don a mock-up of a crowded airport, with an eye-catching image of a stewardess in a short skirt dominating the frame. When Don starts to question her approach to the campaign, Peggy tells him simply “sex sells.” This prompts Don, who’s clearly not a fan of that saying, to explain the nuances of advertising: how they catch the eye of a potential customer, what they’re actually selling, and just how important that really is.
2. “Happiness is the smell of a new car. It’s freedom from fear. It’s a billboard on the side of a road that screams with reassurance that whatever you’re doing is okay. You are okay.”
As the FDA starts cracking down on cigarettes being advertised as healthy, the executives from Lucky Strike see nothing but a crisis. Don, however, sees nothing but opportunity. After a bout of writer’s block, Don asks how the cigarettes are made, from which he takes two words from the process, turning it into their new slogan, “It’s Toasted.” While it impresses his co-workers, it seems to leave their clients scratching their heads. Don takes the opportunity to explain that he doesn’t need to advertise cigarettes as healthy, because he can advertise cigarettes as pure, unbridled happiness.
1. “You hired me.”
When Don was working as a coat salesman, he realized one of his customers was none other than ad mogul Roger Sterling (John Slattery), and hid his portfolio in his order. Roger throws it all out, but soon after Don shows up unannounced at the offices of Sterling Cooper looking for a job, or at least the chance to take him out for a drink in exchange for some words of wisdom. As the morning martinis flow, so does Roger’s advice, and eventually the two part ways. When Don shows up again the next day, he informs Roger of his new job, which comes as a bit of a surprise. It turns out, Don was just taking advantage of the situation he’d created, showing that in the end, Don Draper’s best sales pitch was for himself.
