We’ve already brought you the most Philadelphiest episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, so I thought what better way to celebrate the independence of our country than with a show literally set in the same city as the signing of the Declaration of Independence and birthplace of freedom. Obviously Philadelphia is quite proud of its patriotic heritage, and the town itself is ripe with history — a fact that was not lost on the creators of Sunny. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that the characters are all selfish idiots (lovable selfish idiots, but selfish idiots none the less) who often manipulate zealous causes for their own intentions.
With that, here is a ranking of It’s Always Sunny’s seven most patriotic moments:
7) Season One: “Gun Fever”
Starting out the list, what’s more patriotic than gun fever? Okay, maybe I should say: What’s more quote-unquote patriotic than gun fever? Second amendment, ‘Murica, y’all! After a break-in at the bar (which turns out to have been rigged by Dee’s boyfriend) Mac, Dennis and Charlie go gun crazy. And if you’re not packing on the 4th of July then you probably just hate America, commie.
6) Season Two: “Charlie Gets Crippled”
After Dee and Dennis get surprised by Frank (in his first appearance on It’s Always Sunny), they accidentally run Charlie over in their car, which leaves him wheelchair bound. When this earns him sympathy attention from strippers at the strip club (one of those strippers being played by Natasha Leggero — what!) he takes it a step further by posing as a Vietnam veteran. “VIET-GODDAMN-NAM’S WHAT HAPPENED!” Of course, his plans backfires, but still, free lap dances for the disabled and war vets? That’s pretty damn patriotic if you ask me.
5) Season Nine: “Gun Fever Too: Still Hot”
In the sequel to season one’s “Gun Fever,” “Gun Fever Too: Still Hot” shows the gang divided on the hot button issue with Dee and Dennis trying to prove how easy it is to buy a gun while Mac and Charlie show up armed at the public school to protect the children — because the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun? Of course, Frank is just scamming everyone, which is the true American way.
Also? Mac and Charlie wear these outfits. PATRIOTISM ACHIEVED.
4) Season Three: “The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation”
After Mr. Kim’s Korean BBQ steals their spot as the last destination on the pub crawl, the gang decides to take it into their hands for once and for all to finally do something about North Korea — because obviously the owner of the Korean BBQ must be from the “bad Korea.” (Either way, they all trickle down.) Fun fact: There is actually no good Korean BBQ in Philadelphia that I have yet to find. Although Mac’s Tavern does have a door marked “pirate,” from what I’ve heard.
3) Season Four: “The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell”
In order to get Paddy’s Pub classified as a historical landmark, the gang tells an elaborate tale about how the origin of Paddy’s Pub was directly responsible for inadvertently cracking the Liberty Bell by siding with the British during the Revolutionary War.
Ye olde sibling love: “Now get me a flagon of ale.” “Get your own ale, dick!”
2) Season Five: “The Gang Wrestles for the Troops”
Mac doesn’t think people are proud to be Americans anymore, so when they find out Dee is essentially catfishing an Iraq War soldier (romancing “Soldier of Fortune” under the name “Desert Rose”) the gang decides to put on a wrestling performance to show their appreciation to the troops — inspired by Hulk Hogan, with his “blonde Chinese hair and skin of a hot dog.” Which of course ends up being one of the most terrible things they’ve ever done, between Dee abandoning the soldier after thinking he’s crippled and then trying to get him back when she realizes he’s not, to the guys’ bloody and violent sh*tshow of a wrestling performance.
Extra patriotic points for painted on abs:
1) Season Two: “Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody’s Ass”
Although I already mentioned this episode in my Philly-centric guide, Charlie’s America song is not just the most patriotic thing ever to happen on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but possibly one of the most patriotic things to happen ever in American history. Frankly, I am surprised it hasn’t replaced the National Anthem during Phillies home games at Citizen’s Bank Park, yet. Give it time. Even the greatest genius always takes time to catch on.
I apologize that there’s no gif available, this being an old episode and all, so you’ll have to make due with this grainy, poor sound quality, recorded from a television YouTube footage. Still worth it.
